


Warmth in a Blizzard

by littleposies



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Comfort, Cutting, Fluff, Gay, Homoromantic, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Making Out, Phone Calls & Telephones, References to Depression, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:33:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27854326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleposies/pseuds/littleposies
Summary: As winter arrives, so does a blizzard.Both are a terrible duo by themselves, considering Mega is always feeling down when winter comes around. And being trapped in his house with his own sadness is worse.Cold and lonely, he needs someone and warmth.
Relationships: Zak Ahmed & MegaPVP, Zak Ahmed/MegaPVP
Comments: 36
Kudos: 99





	1. Chapter 1

_Telegram message from Mega :_

**_are you free to call?_ **

In the midst of a stream, Skeppy got a notification from telegram, his phone dinging as the message showed. He had an unsure sound before he excused himself and ended the stream with a short notice, turning to his phone. Rarely has Mega ever asked Skeppy to call, it was usually the other way round. In fact, Mega never really liked to call for the sake of keeping his voice hidden. Skeppy was a sucker for many things, one of them was hearing Mega's voice. The faint memory of the young manager saying 'Hi' was typically inaccurate now. 5 years have passed and Skeppy was sure Mega's balls had at least dropped. Mega guarded his utterance like some sort of ancient treasure, where only he has heard it and his special significant others.

_-_

_Thursday, 3:34AM_

_December 4, 2020_

**zak**

hey u said something abt ur voice

r u gonna speak

**mega**

you know at that rate im gonna take longer to reveal my voice

be patient

**zak**

wait r u actlly gonna speak?

**mega**

maybe

probably

mayhaps

perhaps

**zak**

stop saying fancy words

now let me hear ur voice pzl

**mega**

men only want one thing

my voice

**zak**

dont exclude ur fangirls

**mega**

shut up

you're 'men'

**zak**

SPEAK YOU UNCUTE MUTE

**mega**

bro

let me set it up first

**zak**

what do u need to set up

the alarms???

**mega**

my comfort

it's not easy for me to talk lol

but you get to be the first

who's not my relative

to hear my voice

**zak**

pog

**Mega is calling you!**

-

Skeppy jumped a bit at his phone's ringtone, but he had a shitty grin plastered on his face. Was it real? Was Mega really legit and not trolling this time? Was he truly gonna reveal his long hidden vocal chords? The tanned skin's man's hand was shaking as his finger pressed on the green button, as he quickly held up the phone to his ear, listening for the slightest sounds. Nothing else could be heard except the howling of the snow in Canada and a low and light breathing.

"...Mega?"

"...Hey."

Skeppy hung up the call out of excitement and panic. He squealed and freaked out for 5 minutes before he realised what he did. He cussed to himself and tried dialing Mega again. By God's(Mega) mercy, Mega picked up the call despite the slim chances of it happening.

"I'm so sorry I hung up- I'm just- I finally get to hear you!.. your balls definitely dropped."

"You think so?"

"Oh damn, they really dropped."

"Yeah puberty hit hard. Lots of things change. Sort of."

"Wind seems to be howling hard in Canada, Mega."

"We were alerted of a blizzard that was going to hit Vancouver. Everyone went frantic and raided the supermarkets, getting everything they could."

"Woah, you're okay though right?"

"Yeah, I robbed like 25 packs of instant noodles and a red velvet cake and a few more essentials."

"Mega!"

"I'm kidding. I paid for all of those then stole like 2 mentos packs."

"Jesus christ, are you for real?"

"Eating one of my reaped rewards right now. Very minty."

"Cops are not gonna be happy."

"For stealing candy? Everyone does that shit in halloween."

"But it's not Halloween. It's like nearing Christmas."

"I know. Also speaking of Christmas, winter's approaching. As if things couldn't get any worse. It's super cold and I'm gonna be super depressed as well."

"You should probably get it checked out. It could spiral out of control and then you start hurting yourself again."

Mega closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath, he sat by the window, watching the snow stick onto the pane as the few early signs of the blizzard began to loom over his neighbourhood. He could hear the whispers and howling of the wind, as the skies turned a murky and dark grey. He didn't have much of an issue with gloomy skies, in fact he liked them. It's just that he hated the cold and winter in general.

But what's worse, in the winter is that he couldn't enjoy anything. Seasonal depression for the cold season hit him hard, he's always down bad during the happiest and gifting time of the year. The jingle bells never caught his attention, he doesn't care for gifts, the smiles and christmas lights could never make him grin or light up himself. Because he was far too focused on taking care of his mental health. The loneliness and the freezing temperatures of the last season made Mega curl up in his bed and feel sorry for himself. The pain throughout the whole season of winter was constant, and only when spring broke, he would slowly bounce back to his normal self. As if there was much of a difference at all anyways. He will admit, he's a relatively monotone and sarcastic person, but he has… put himself in harm's way before out of the tiring depths of his mental and emotional health. 

Hearing Skeppy being concerned about it made him guilty.

Mega hasn't told Skeppy that he hasn't exactly been clean of self-harm. Despite the promise he made.

Thoughts ran through Mega's head, he stared blankly at the space in front of him, a single tear rolling down his cheek before it was followed by another. And another. And another.

"I'm sorry…"

"Mega? What are you apologizing for? Mega?"

"I-" 

Mega covered his mouth with his hand, choking back on the words he was about to say as he tried his very best to contain the waterfall that threatened to pour out of his sockets. It was indeed nearing winter, and not only were the jolly holidays around the corner, the depravity of his happiness was also waiting to be met. 

"I broke the promise. Sorry about that."

"Promise..? What promise?"

The room dropped in temperature, Mega pulled up his knees and hugged them close to his chest as the words Skeppy was saying bled together, all was mush, he couldn't understand. He couldn't focus.

"Mega! Mega! Are you there?"

Skeppy was desperately trying to cling onto Mega despite their long distance from each other, he knew Mega was quite fragile in terms of his health. He could suck up insults from another player in PVP regardless he won or not, but Mega found difficulty in even keeping himself stable. It was the one thing that worried Skeppy.

Mega finally gasped for air, as if he snapped back into reality. His eyes were glossy and tears were falling down, his breath was shaky, he was staring at nothing. And yet, his eyes had a red tint to them, the grip on his phone was threatening to loosen but he did his best to keep it in place.

Mega shook his head to channel himself back to Earth, he wiped his eyes and cleared his throat.

"Sorry, I was distracted."

"You scared me."

"Did I?"

"Please Mega, you raise so much concern I wonder if you're even joking or for real."

"Oh."

"Don't tell me you hurt yourself. Or started to do so again anyway."

"It was months ago," Mega stared down at his free hand and eyed his wrist. "They're healing and so am I." Mega reassured.

Skeppy inhaled deeply, his heart sank as he closed his eyes in disappointment and rubbed his temple. He felt like he failed to keep Mega from cutting.

"God… I just wish I did enough to stop you."

"What? Don't blame yourself. Besides, I'm fine now."

"What about your stupid winter depression??"

"I'm gonna stay clean. Don't worry."

"How can I make sure?"

"..Call me everyday. Please."

Skeppy looked up at his PC monitor which had already dimmed its screen due to inactivity, then he replayed Mega's words again.

"...Did you call me because of this?" Skeppy's eyes fluttered shut again, waiting for an answer. The realization that Mega had suffered in silence made his heart ache. Skeppy didn't really have the best interaction with Mega, but he still cared for the mute boy if it was necessary.

"I was hoping you wouldn't bring up the subject so early."

"You mentioned your winter sadness, of course I'd ask you about that."

"My mistake," Mega scoffed and grinned to himself in embarrassment. "But maybe, yeah. I did call you for this. You're one of the few I trust."

"I'm honored."

"I need to go now, but remember, call me."

"Setting a reminder as we speak!"

"Thank you."

The call ended, and all that could be heard was the constant beeping of the aftermath of the call. Skeppy had scribbled his task down on a piece of paper, ripping some tape and plastering the reminder on the top of his monitor. 

_call megapoopy everyday for December_


	2. Anger, Sadness and Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mega gets irritated all of sudden while playing his games, and breaks nearly all of his gaming equipment.
> 
> The day of reckoning has come, and he knows by tomorrow, the pain starts.

Mega slowly awoke from his deep slumber, it was already 2PM, considering he slept at literally 4am in the morning yesterday—sleeping normally is for normies—and now his body is compensating for the lack of sleep.

He was glued to his bed, he had no energy whatsoever to move his lower body, so all he could do was twist his head to look at his window. The blizzard was still going on. It was one of those blizzards that lasted for a few days before dying down thankfully. Mega groaned, what a nice way to start off winter; the knowledge that you're going to be stuck crying in the bathroom as well as mother nature being unhappy about something.

Mega had no care in the world and he just wanted to go back to sleep. His wishes were went against by his phone, which rang as a result of someone trying to call him. Mega yelled in annoyance, using his pillow to cover his ears as he kicked in his bed like a child awoken early for school. The ringtone went on and on until he sputtered dozens of curses under his breath and didn't even bother to check who was calling him until he picked up. And when he did, let's just say his anger and irritance washed away. Sort of, Skeppy still made him want to pull his hair.

"Hey." Skeppy said first.

Mega slapped himself in the face, rubbing it down with one hand to refresh his cloudy vision as he inhaled deeply.

"Hi, sorry. Did you call me before this time?"

"Yeah. 2 times, I figured you were asleep so I just let you do so."

"Fuck...ah, sorry 'bout that. Slept at 4am."

"Y'know that you're gonna be hit with the big sad this winter, and sleeping late isn't gonna help... right?"

"Suck a dick, I'll pay my prices later."

"No need to be harsh, but don't sob and whine when you... ah, nevermind."

"What? What were you gonna say?"

"Nothing. I figured it was a bit too insensitive, don't worry about it though."

"Okay..."

Mega was hit right in the stomach with a loud growl bubbling in his empty food pouch. A hand over his tummy, he let out a trapped exhale as he regained strength back in his legs. He got out of bed, stretching and straightening his back, hearing a crack, he moaned in pain yet satisfaction.

"Did you orgasm?"

"What the fuck, no. I was stretching. Goddamn my ass is always on my computer 24/7, I'm gonna get scoliosis from my shitty posture."

"You're becoming a grandpa in the era of playing Minecraft. You truly feel old now, huh?"

"Shut yo' peanut butter lookin' ass."

"Man you come up with the best insults. Just wait till you curl up in bed and cry cus winter hit badly."

"Like I said, suck a dick, I'll pay all my karma in **credit**."

"That's gonna bite you back in the ass."

"I know."

Mega has already been on the phone with Skeppy for 15 minutes now, and he spent most of his time putting on proper comfy shorts, along with a red sweater to help him battle the freezing temperature of his house. Mega breezily made his way down the flight of stairs to the first floor and went to the kitchen, opening a cupboard and taking a cup of chicken instant noodles.

"What are you doing now, Mega?"

"Cooking food."

"Pouring hot water into instant noodles is not cooking."

"Shut the fuck up, you can't cook either."

"Why are you always so mean? I prioritize you Mega, at least be nice to me. I called you because I was worried."

Mega covered the instant noodle cup with the paper lid, and rested a fork on it, to trap the heat inside. He waited till the noodles were soft and ready. Meanwhile, hearing Skeppy saying he cared for him enough that he called him earlier today to keep his promise, made Mega blush. No one has really cared that much for him in a while.

"I'm mean cus... well... that's my way of saying thanks. Thanks for checking up on me. I really appreciate it, Skep."

"No problem. Your noodles are probably done cooking now."

"Hmph," Mega scoffed to himself but he wore a shit grin, taking the cup back up to the comfort of his room, where he sat in his gaming chair.

Mega was desperate when he asked for Skeppy to call him everyday for December last night, but it seemed that Skeppy had no problems with upholding such an oath. Mega honestly didn't care if Skeppy called everyday or not, but he enjoyed the company and the thought of someone having him on their mind. He was a bit of a cheeky bastard that was a smiling mess. This little oath was surely going to make Mega feel better.

"Hey Mega I gotta go and record a video, it was fun talking to you though. Smell ya tomorrow!" Skeppy enthusiastically chirped as he followed his words up with, "Byee!!".

Mega smiled and returned the goodbye to his dear friend. Mega thought it would be a good time to turn on his PC and boot up minecraft for some competitive PVP. He considered dragging one of his friends into a duel, but he spared them his sass and trouble by duelling with randoms instead. Needless to say, Mega destroyed all of them with his attractive 7 CPS and constant combos.

It was all going fine and dandy until he decided to play some bedwars. 

He wasn't sure what happened, but his flair died out. The cold stung his skin in the worst way, he was shivering and his teeth were clattering. His muscles tensed up to make heat and keep him warm. He brushed it off, still shivering, as he carried on with the bedwars 1v1v1v1 solos game. 

But he was constantly messing up, he couldn't speedbridge, he'd always misclick and fall into the void. The spazz he had in his fingers to butterfly and jitter click was gone and had went limp and tired. His interest was just... dwindling. And so was his performance in the game. He knew he was getting tired and worn out—not to mention very cold—, but he couldn't help but get angry at himself for messing up simple things and being unable to get certain things right.

"Fuck! What the hell is going on?" He slammed his mouse on the table, finally exiting the game and spinning his gaming chair away from the computer. Unbeknownst to him, his headphones were still attached and they pulled off violently making a large sound in the process. Relatively, he was fine and so was his PC, but his headphones surely weren't. He broke them.

"What the fuck- argh!" Mega exclaimed in annoyance, he was helpless, his brain was mush and he couldn't comprehend what he was doing. He was messing up so much and he couldn't do anything right. The stress and pressure he placed upon himself snowballed quite terribly, and he eventually snapped. He kicked his desk, turned off his PC, and smashed his keyboard. He had a surge of testosterone rage swimming through his body, and he didn't know what was happening. All he knew, all he wanted, was that he wanted to break something. Destroy something, take his anger out on something. 

He figured he was just pissed because he was slipping up so often so suddenly in-game. He slumped back down on his gaming chair, buried his face his in hands, his breathing was heavy as he tried to calm down. 

_This wasn't the first time this had happened._

Mega shot his head up, and stared back at his PC. His headphones were broken, his keyboard was askew from its original neat position but not broken—thankfully.

Mega shook his head while mumbling to himself, "No no no no..." he turned on his PC again, nervously waiting for it to boot up. Once the screen blinked of light and purple, reflecting his aesthetic wallpaper, he opened up Valorant.

_im not intentionally sucking, im sure that i just need to focus on other games. maybe i can play minecraft tomorrow and it'll be fine._

It wasn't the case. Mega got some wins here and there but the kill-death ratio was both uncanny yet disappointing. For him at least. He let out an agonized scream before turning off his PC again and completely beating the shit out of his mouse and keyboard. Throwing the keyboard at the wall and as well as the mouse, all the furious energy he had pent up and vented out through destruction, finally morphed into sadness and realization.

He broke his prized keyboard, along with his mouse. He had grinded so hard to earn money along with the help of his father indulgently funding a few hundred dollars to let his son buy his dream setup.

Mega's hands were shaking, he placed them over his mouth. He just killed his keyboard, mouse and headphones. He couldn't even use his computer even if he wanted to. What would he type? Surely nothing, now he's truly mute. The keyboard's keys were detached from the board itself, several of the labelled squares were scattered across the floor, Mega wasn't sure if he was able to find the missing keys and just insert them back in where they belonged. It didn't matter anyways, Mega had no hope it would even work after such brutality (It probably could, it's not that weak. Mega's just a pessimistic baby).

Mega killed the one thing that could take his mind off of his winter sadness.

His back met his dark oak closet, where he slid down in despair and began to cry his eyes out. His moods swung quickly from rage to devastation. He regretted what he did. What is he to do now? He had a spare macbook, which he also downloaded minecraft in, but he rarely used that for games, considering it was his work laptop and plus, he was forced to use a trackpad.

It might all seem irrational, but for Mega, his world came crashing down. He let out a pained wail and his tears began to fall faster than a heavy rainstorm. The blizzard howled with him as it picked up on its wind speed and the speed of painting the whole of Vancouver in a blanket of snow. Mega let out little despaired squeaks, sniffling as his hands were held a bit far from his face, almost in a way, examining the hands that caused mayhem. He just fucked himself over. Mega placed his hands down, the poor guy looking around his room helplessly, his eyes red and glossy with tears as he pitifully crawled to his bed, where his phone was at.

Climbing onto the soft comforting furniture, he dialed Skeppy, and put the phone up to his ear slowly. 

It had been like 2 hours since Skeppy hung up and ended the call. The task was to call Mega once everyday. But Mega felt like he needed more than one call today. He definitely needed another. 

The anger, turned into sadness. And his sadness turned into emptiness. This was where it came. It had arrived. For the rest of his winter, he would be doomed to die of boredom and cry to sad songs and be lonely. All the while these factors would dress themselves as critically serious in Mega's overthinking mind, making the poor mute boy drain himself of tears and energy. 

The ringtone was still going on, and Mega whispered to himself, "God have mercy, don't make winter's dick too big to suck."

"..What?"

"Hey."

"You alright? Your voice sounds like it's breaking."

"Just came back from raging. Then I cried. Then realised it's the hour of reckoning. The hour that would indicate that the rest of my winter is going to be absolute fucking dogshit."

"Fancy words, you know I can't understand. I'm kidding but... what happened? Why did you rage?"

"Was fucking up in minecraft a lot. Then tried valorant to try to prove that I wasn't the problem."

"And?"

"I was the problem. So I smashed my keyboard and threw my mouse. Did I mention I broke my headphones as well?"

"Bro, you just wiped out half of your setup. What are you gonna do now?"

"Cry. Then drink water to produce more tears to cry."

"It's hitting hard huh?"

"That's why I called you. I just needed you to stay with me for a while. Sorry if I interrupted anything."

"No no, I've finished recording, I'm free now. Are you okay?"

Mega stared at his window, then at the broken equipment on the floor. His headphones danging sadly, still connected to his PC.

"I hope so." Mega sneered and rubbed his temple. He was gonna be in for a ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im speedrunning this shit


	3. His Pretty Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skeppy suggests Mega tries to bake something to get his mind off of his big winter sad, and in the process, he asks for Mega to reveal his face as well.
> 
> But that night, Mega is faced with a nightmare that sends him to cry for hours. A nightmare that foreshadowed his winter.

_the perfect balance of happiness_

_and sadness,_

_is so vague._

_happiness is treasured,_

_but too much of it deems you crazy._

_sadness is there to make you appreciate and realise,_

_and yet, too much of it_

_will surely kill you._

5AM. 

Mega woke up, his room was dark and colder than usual. The blizzard was still howling and blowing ice and snow at his window. He'd need to clean it up or just wait for it to melt off the pane. Mega groaned as he sat up in bed. A splitting headache hit him immediately and he was forced to slouch over in pain. He held his head, breathing slowly to ease the abominable feeling that ensued for a couple more seconds.

After it was done, Mega felt even more tired. But the biggest contradictions of how he was feeling was despite how tired he was, he didn't want to sleep. Sleeping wouldn't help.

He stumbled out of bed, and to his closet, where he grabbed a fresh outfit for today and tomorrow, looking around his room for his towel. He forgot to mention he didn't bother cleaning up his destruction yesterday, his keyboard lying sadly on his soft floor. He grimaced, before he snatched his towel and walked to his shower. He undressed out of his current clothes, setting them on a free space on the bathroom sink away from his clean clothes.

Straight away, he was shuddering from the cold of the bathroom tile, and the overall antarctica-like temperature of the room. Every part of his house was a quarter of how the blizzard actually felt like on his complexion, but the bathroom felt like a freezer. Mega rubbed the side of his arms and hopped in the shower quickly, turning the knob for warm water. He let out a relieved sigh as hot water kissed his colored skin, wetting his hair as he took hold of his shampoo. 

After he was done showering and getting into his clean clothes, opening the door out of the bathroom was a mistake. Immediately, he was hit by a strong cold gale that wrapped him tighter than the towel he had around him. Quivering, he rushed back to his room where he turned on his heater and closed the door, and crawled back into his bed.

No intentions of sleeping, just lying down. He wasn't hungry either but he just liked chewing and tasting. His heater was still taking time to warm up and mimic the feeling of human warmth, so he got out of his bed and was about to get out of his room when his phone rang. He was startled by his gadget screaming the ringtone, but he relaxed when his mind realised that it was just Skeppy. His soft and cold hand reached over to his nightstand as he unplugged the iPhone 7 out of its charging state.

Answering the call, he listened closely for that squeaky, reverse-puberty, pip voice that Skeppy had. 

"Hey, are you doing alright after yesterday?"

"Yeah. I am. I woke up with a terrible headache like an hour ago... agh, it's still lingering but it isn't as bad now."

"You worry me so much. This is the first time I'm really worked up over you. Usually I'd let you rot."

"What a supportive friend," Mega simpered **(yes this is an actual word in the English dictionary and I'll use it)** , quite the unfortunate fact that Skeppy wouldn't be able to see Mega's little grin. A grin that held little joy, a little light, in Mega's time of darkness.

_that's never happened before. im always a sad bitch in winter and nothing else. . ._

"I know, I should get an award for that." Skeppy laughed to himself, giving himself a pat on the back. "I'm usually known for being very helpful. Lighting up everyone's day with smiles, helping them through their darkest hours or lowest points."

The heater finally warmed up Mega's whole room, and Mega suspired at the comforting and cloaking cosiness.

"Oh, but who will help you when you're down?" Mega threw quite a existential question on the table, but Skeppy replied confidently.

"My friends. You, and the others."

Mega smiled.

_this diamond peanut butter ass really do be makin' me feel so much better._

"I need to eat something even though I'm not hungry."

"Why don't you cook your instant noodles hm?"

"Fuck off," Mega dragged his words.

"Hey, I have an idea. You should totally try to actually cook something. Like a cake or cookies or brownies."

"I bought a cake. Boom, I made cake."

"The chefs probably copyrighted it. Now, anyways, just bake cookies or brownies! I read up on the web it's relaxing for a person in your situation."

"The worst that could happen is that I don't feel any better or I just set my house on fire."

"Your house would be the warmth and light of your neighbours, I'll tell you that."

"And boohoo, I'm homeless now."

"Just go bake cookies or brownies bro. You'll know what real cooking is like. Maybe have me on facetime too?"

"Why."

"Because I wanna see your face."

"Just because I'm talking to you doesn't mean I wanna show you my beautiful and glorious face in which a mortal like you could never comprehend."

"Stop using fancy words Mega, and shut up, I'm definitely more better looking than you."

"Suit yourself."

Mega ended the call, but he wasn't going to leave it like that. He bent over to his nightstand, and opened a drawer. He pulled out a computer bag, and opened it, fishing out his macbook. His work computer. He turned off his heater—for electrical bill purposes—and exited his room, where he glided down the stairs again, turning his macbook on and placing it on a big counter. He opened discord and called Skeppy from there, with his webcam on.

Mega was shuffling through the contents of his cupboard, and grabbing what he assumed could be put into his atrocious cookie recipe. By then, Skeppy had picked up the call, and yelled out enthusiastically, "Hello?!!". Mega covered his ears when he heard that puberty-reversed voice and smiled softly to himself. He was out of view from the camera, so all Skeppy could see from his side was a bit of Mega's kitchen.

Mega popped out like a daisy, finally revealing his face to his 5 year long best friend.

"Hey," Mega said nonchalantly as he arranged his ingredients properly. 

"Woah. Mega." Skeppy covered his mouth to blanket his giggle. Mega locked screw eyes on Skeppy, wondering what his idiot friend was laughing about.

"What? What are you laughing at?"

"I'm not... laughing. More like, just... giddy with joy I guess." Skeppy smiled broadly. A blush spread over the so-called mute man's face.

Mega had black curly-wavy hair that ended just under his ears. His hair looked like you could run your fingers through it, and it would feel like clouds had kissed it. They were puffing up considering Mega had recently showered, a bit damp, and a bit of light shining on it much more vividly due to the water still sticking on his hair. He had skin which was a softer shade of oak. His beauty was finished off with the cherry on top being his eyes; a brown hazel with flecks of green and yellow in them.

"Your eyes... they're so pretty holy shit."

"Okay, simp." Mega chuckled, he opened the bag of flour and pulled out a big bowl where he would mix all dry ingredients first, as the beginning of his terrifying journey of baking cookies.

"Stop, I'm just complimenting you."

"Yeah, exactly. Simp."

Mega had finished mixing in everything, the batter was done, he had pooped out at least a hundred cookies while using all of his chocolate, which melted in the batter considering they weren't appropriate chocolate chips when he put them in the oven. Skeppy nearly choked when Mega used coke instead of baking soda because Mega said, "It's still soda."

Surprisingly, the cookies came out well, and Skeppy's mouth was watering at them.

"You ever think, how when your mouth waters for food you're just horny for food?" Mega says with a mouth full of cookies.

"Is there anything wrong with being horny for food? It certainly can be sometimes better than sex."

"What did I say to bring us to this point jesus christ."

"You said horny!"

"Your mind goes 20 different ways, you sicko."

Mega finally turned off his webcam and he ended the call on discord, calling Skeppy back on the phone, where Mega complained about his broken setup which by the way, hasn't been cleaned up yet.

"Man, I was so pissed and mad I just broke everything. Now I'm really sad."

"You needed to take your anger out on something anyway."

"Ironic because now the only other thing that could keep me sane other than your calls, playing games, is not an option anymore."

"Mega, I'm here to listen. For the rest of winter, whether you call me first or I do, I'll be here since your other option is not available right now."

"God... what did I do to deserve you. I shun you and push you away, and yet you stay." The tone in Mega's voice was pitiful, it sounded like he was about to break into tears. Lil' ol' Mega claims he needs no friends, claims he's friends with he, himself and him only, and yet, the loneliness would be the bane of his existence.

"Isn't it obvious Mega? I love you, like all my friends. I'll always help you. If you need it, I'm here."

"..fuck... I love you too."

Mega sank deeper into his bed, pulling a bit of his blanket over him. 

"It's been a while since I've heard you say that Mega."

"Has it..?"

"Yes. You always say you... despise me."

Mega smiled and giggled, remembering the times when he was mentally healthier and the times where he typed quickly on his keyboard to express his disdain for his fellow friend when he does stupid things. For example, when Skeppy griefs the Invadedlands server, intentionally annoys Mega himself or even the simple action of logging onto the server was enough for Mega to slam his head into his keyboard.

And yet, at this very moment, Mega wanted his most "hated enemy" to stay.

Because that hated enemy cared for him, a lot. And Mega returned the favour—secretly.

"You know I don't mean it. But you do so much childish things I can't help but fume."

"I love to push your buttons. I get the best reactions from you."

"Weirdo." Mega sighed. "I'm gonna try to go to bed so I have an excuse as to why I'm awake at 3am."

"C'mon Mega, don't do that to yourself. You know you have to take care of yourself if you wanna be stable. You know what I mean, don't you?"

"I know. I'm fine," Mega said before furrowing his brows at his statement. No, he wasn't fine. What a funny joke. Haha. "Nevermind." Mega hovered a hand over his face over the stupidity of his words. 

"That's what I thought. Get some rest, Mega." Skeppy made a kissing sound, as if to kiss Mega goodnight, before hanging up. Mega widened his eyes slightly, he brought up the phone to his face to look at it, before his face tinted with shades of red. He didn't know where these blood rushes came from, but a single thought at the back of his head, poked and prodded to be at the front. Mega ignored it, kept it in the back.

_i dont want to be hurt more than i am now_

Mega told himself and he turned over to his side, plugging his phone to charge.

His day hadn't been much, but Skeppy surely made him much more joyful despite the state he was supposed to be in this winter. Mega guessed that the difference from his previous sad winters was that Skeppy was here. Here to call him everyday, and make sure he was okay. 

His thoughts ran wild for a couple of minutes but soon, his eyes began to close. His eyelids became heavy and finally fell prey to his persuasive slumber.

3AM, the next day.

Mega awoke from a nightmare, he screamed in terror for a short while, before he crumbled into a crying mess. He dreamt he was being thrown into a dark room, there was no source of light except for a small square window at the locked door. He felt hands, grab him, into the darkness, tearing him apart, taking out his heart so violently and leaving him to wonder why he's not dead. Someone surely had a hold of his very important muscular organ, and the nightmare ended when that mysterious person clenched their hand into a fist, blood splattering onto his face. Mega stared in horror, even though he could see nothing. He couldn't breathe, and that's when it stopped. That's when he woke up.

He didn't know why it scared him. He didn't know why he was crying. He didn't know why it hurt. It was just a spooky nightmare that involved him getting his heart viciously torn out then being exploded right in front of his face.

...Why did it feel real?

He felt so helpless in that situation. He was held down by hands, that forced him to watch the pitch black of the room. His heart seemed to have a glow though, and that was all he could see. 

The light extinguishing and he was shrouded in darkness again.

Mega spent his whole early morning crying, abandoning the plan of checking on the servers he was staff on, on his macbook.


	4. Christmas Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skeppy goes out to buy new and expensive gaming equipment for Mega, along with an extra little surprise.
> 
> The next day when Skeppy calls, Mega doesn't pick up and Skeppy is left troubled.

_There are so many forms of pain._

_One of them is heartbreak._

Mega's eyes were swollen and sore, they were painted red again, his hazel orbs were blocked by how crimson his scleras were. He had been crying for hours, crumples of tissues were thrown across his bed, some of them landing on his floor. He was tired of crying, he had no more tears left to cry anyway. He rubbed his eyes once again, and took one last tissue and blew his nose. He doesn't know what he's crying about. Hours ago he cried over his nightmare, but then he soon replayed all the terrible moments in his life and sobbed over each and every one of them. Painted himself as worthless, disgusting and rude. Told himself he deserved nothing at all.

_it's here._

Wringing himself out of all the tears he could cry, he now felt truly empty. He felt helpless.

He had been crying for several hours, it was already 7AM in the morning and all he could look forward to was a drop of light—that light being Skeppy's call—and he wished for it to arrive now. Mega had been stuck in his bed for hours as well, not moving from the easy comfort. 

_i should probably wash my face. . ._

He thought, weakly getting out of bed and walking to his bathroom. His steps were small and slow, but he got there. He turned on the sink and let it run, his hands clutching on the edges of the sink as he lifted his head up and looked at his grim reflection in the mirror. Bags under his eyes, bloodshot eyes that made him look like he had smoked pounds of weed and sickly desaturated skin. Mega grimaced at the sight of the truth; his mental health surely showed itself in the form of his physical appearance as well.

Mega drooped his head down, cupping his hands together as he caught a handful of water, then proceeded to splash it over his face. Rubbing it to wash the tear stains off, he took his facial wash and made an effort to clean his face as well. Almost every move he made was robotic, he had no life in him, but he had to do his necessary routines if he wanted to… function. He didn't feel like living anyway, maybe he'll just do what he can, before he leaves. Despite how much Mega feels like shit and is being tempted to end his own life, he knew it wasn't right. It really wasn't right. So many would be so worried, so many things he'd leave alone on this planet if he just **left** like that. No one would know how he sounded like—well maybe except for Skeppy—and so many would miss him. He wished he didn't move out of his parents' house so early, wished he didn't leave at the ripe age of 18 because he was unfortunately pressured.

He missed his mom and dad.

Mega stayed in front of the mirror, staring at his now slightly better complexion, his breathing was hitched but he tried to keep it regular. From his bedroom, he heard his phone ringing loudly. He let out an exasperated sigh, he felt like crying again. He just wanted everything to stop. He wanted to lie down in a fluff of clouds, no pressure, nothing to bother him, the comforting and heavenly feeling that no one is out to get you and you can truly rest with no-one to tell you otherwise. The limit was his imagination, such a pity it's not real and probably never will be.

Mega staggered out of the bathroom and into his room again, collapsing on his bed and reaching pitifully for his phone. As expected, it was Skeppy. A small smile appeared on his lips. Skeppy was going to be the one thing he gets out of this alive. Mega was thankful for that. Sliding green, he sat up properly on his bed and unplugged his phone from charging, putting the phone up to his ear, like he has done for the last few days.

"Hey, Mega! I called you a little early, sorry."

"It's fine." Mega spoke in a deep and tired tone. The blizzard had stopped, thankfully, but Mega knew the real cold and isolation was just beginning.

"You sound a little sadder. Actually, a little too sad. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Just extremely… tired."

"You wanna get some rest? I mean, you should have enough considering you slept so early yesterday. Which is rare."

"8 hours of sleep i think. Then I woke up at 3am and proceeded to cry for 4 hours. God I feel so down, it's starting to hit harder."

"Guess I'll call harder," Skeppy smiled over the phone, trying to lighten the mood, but as quickly as it came, it went as well. "Can you at least promise me you're fine? You aren't hurting yourself?"

_that's a difficult promise._

Mega closed his eyes tightly, then snuck a glance at his wrist. The dark scars were still there, mocking him, proving that he can't go clean this season. Not soon, anyway. 

"I'll try."

"No, don't tell me you'll try. You have to **do** it and know that you won't harm yourself. Mega, I love you enough that I don't want you to get hurt."

A failed card for Mega, Skeppy knew what he wanted and it was for the good health of Mega. Skeppy wanted Mega to heal, to feel better and he did what he could to keep him safe even if they were miles away. Oh the distance, it hurt, didn't it? To want to comfort someone and yet they're far away. The constant worry that they would do or have done something terrible to themselves, the worst part being, you won't even know it until something is off. Mega hated to make Skeppy worry, yet, his mind told him he was incapable of upholding such a promise. His wrist stared back at him, a constant reminder that he will never get better in the harsh and unforgiving winter.

There wasn't much Mega could say without Skeppy ruffling his feathers for him, other than give the diamond man some false hope. At least he wouldn't worry.

"...Okay. I won't hurt myself. I promise."

"Thank you Mega. I love you, you're doing great."

Mega placed a shaky hand over his mouth, small tears poured out of their sockets. This time, not because of sadness and depravity, but rather because Mega felt touched and appreciated. Someone was truly there for him and really cared for how he currently was. It made Mega's heart float on the ocean of depression. A little bit of hope—that's what Skeppy was. 

"God… what did i do to ever fucking deserve you. You're literally one of the greatest friends I could ask for…" Mega stopped in between his sentences to let out a sob or two, "i wouldn't trade you for anything in the world. except maybe minecraft related stuff." Mega chuckled softly, trying to squeeze the last bit of his happiness to reassure Skeppy that he was doing okay.

"Of course you'd trade me in for a couple of netherite in minecraft, what do I expect." Skeppy laughed.

"No but for real, I love you so much. You're amazing. Thanks for sticking by. It's gonna be a long winter, isn't it?"

"Surely a long one, I won't deny."

"I should probably clean up my mess. Y'know, my keyboard and… yeah."

"Keep me on the line, okay?"

"I will. I need you more than ever, right now."

"How sweet." Skeppy smiled through his words, and Mega could hear the words narrow as Skeppy smiled. It's amazing how humans can recognize when someone is smiling through their words. It's a wholesome ability.

Mega squatted down at his seemingly broken keyboard, gathering all the detached keys he could find and setting them on the bed. Putting his phone on speaker, he had a calm and soft conversation with Skeppy, while inserting all the keys in their respective slots, patting the gaming equipment once he put it back in place. He wasn't going to bother with his headphones, it was surely dead, one side of it was broken and out of place. Yeah, definitely hit the grave. Mega tried the keyboard on minecraft and what a relief, it still worked. Sadly, his mouse was no longer responsive. Another one bites the dust.

"Well that's lovely. My mouse and headphones are demolished. No more butterfly and jitter-clicking for me."

"Aww man, that's sad. So we can't play minecraft together?"

"There is no way in hell I'm using a trackpad again."

"Fuck, damn, it would be so easy to kill you- oh wait, shit, sorry, probably shouldn't have said that."

"No no it's fine. It's not triggering for me, don't worry."

Over on Skeppy's side, he was enjoying the tranquility and blessing of not having to deal with a blizzard, as he hopped to the mall. He looked around the big shopping building for a while before stopping at his preferred destination. An electronics shop. Filled top to bottom with wires, plugs and adapters, to also being the home to phones that are displayed proudly in the glass displays and behind the counter, as well as being the perfect place to pick up new replacements for a friend. Most specifically, a mouse and a new pair of headphones.

Skeppy wandered about in the gaming section, examining the wide array of gaming mice and just behind this shelf, was a plethora of headphones as well. Skeppy didn't want to just buy cheap and affordable ones, considering the state Mega was spiraling down, he wanted to be extra simpy. He chose a beautiful and well-rated gaming mouse, with a high price. The design and brand was enough to convince Skeppy that if Mega was to get a hold of this, he'd destroy everyone in every duel. Walking behind the gaming mice shelf, he was met with shelves full of headphones. He wanted to get a certain theme for Mega. The color palette Mega had for his setup was red and black (like any other basic gamer) and Skeppy stayed loyal to that palette. Premium brand, good price, high quality and still keep the color of red and black. The amount of thought Skeppy had was almost extra, but oh, Skeppy's always extra, isn't he?

Because Christmas was near, the option to have the items Skeppy bought to be wrapped in wrapping paper was available. Skeppy asked for black wrapping paper and while it does seem like a gloomy choice, the color at least empathizes with now Mega feels like—a gloomy color for a gloomy man. Walking out of the store with two wrapped boxes containing Mega's gifts kept in a plastic bag, he was about to make his way out of the mall when he turned and came across a chocolate store. It's main theme was self-explanatory; just filled with chocolate. Though some weren't chocolate but sweets and candies. Skeppy drifted to the entrance of the store and shot his head around, attracted to the fancy brands like Ferrero Rocher, Hersheys, Meiji and so much more. 

If there's one thing Mega and Skeppy have in common—and quite possibly might be the only reason why they're friends (/j)—is their love for vanilla. 

So when Skeppy saw a pack of chocolates with a large sticker claiming to have vanilla in the middle of the savoury sweet, his hands were full of at least 10 packs of it. He had to go get a basket to have all of them in his possession, and as expected because it was Christmas, he asked for the chocolates to be wrapped in wrapping paper as well. Kept safe in a cute plastic bag, he exits the mall with his hands carrying bags full of chocolates, sweets and gifts. 

Now there's only one thing left to do.

Back at home, Skeppy sets all of his chocolate gifts in the fridge while he places the mouse and headphones on his gaming desk. Checking the situation of Vancouver, he was given a clear that he could fly over to the state. Booking a flight to Vancouver and planning on keeping it a secret, he'd have to restrain himself tomorrow when he calls Mega to ensure he doesn't leak the surprise. Skeppy was far too paranoid to let Mega lurk and do his own thing in Canada, and plus, isolation wasn't fun. After getting his ticket, Skeppy congratulated himself for spending a shit ton of money for the sake of his friend and got straight into packing. Pulling his empty luggage bag from under his bed, he began packing the necessities. He could bring his whole wardrobe with him considering Skeppy doesn't even have that much clothes. He also took some of his shampoo with him and his special soap, putting them in special small bags and stuffing it in his half-empty luggage.

In the remaining space, he squeezed all of the gifts and would wait until the final day to put all the chocolates in the luggage because he didn't want them to melt.

Skeppy giggled and exploded with laughter and positive scheming. He whispered to himself with his adorable subtle lisp shining through, "He's never gonna see this coming!"

The next day rolls by, and it's only a few days till Skeppy has to check into his flight and give Mega the surprise of his life. Now routine, Skeppy picks up his phone and dials Mega. He waits, the dial ringtone still going.

Mega didn't pick up after 5 minutes of ringing.

Skeppy looks at his phone with a pouty look, before calling Mega again. Several attempts later, worry starts to creep up Skeppy's spine. He calls again and again, but Mega never answers. He resorts to texting Mega, hoping and praying Mega would see his messages. Mega… can't just ignore him like that. Mega can't be… _can't be…_

Skeppy felt tears stinging in the corner of his eyes, heaving distressed sighs as he desperately and pathetically tried to call Mega over and over again. A bit of relief washed over his worked up nerves when he saw that Mega had read his messages. Blue tick wasn't much, but it was enough to send a signal to Skeppy that Mega was okay. He prayed he was, anyway. Skeppy sinks onto his bed and looks over at his luggage. 

_You better not be dead, I spent like over $400 for you._

Skeppy sighed, leaving his phone to charge. Maybe Mega just needed a break, or maybe Mega was tired and just had to ignore his troubles. After all, Mega was entering the big sad winter phase that comes along each and every winter—for him. No matter how much Skeppy reassured himself with plausible and rational thoughts, he never wanted to let his guard down for the horrid event that might come that Mega just leaves.

He dives back to his phone, checking his messages. No new messages. Not from Mega, at least.

He sighed and saw this as his cue to leave Mega be.

He made a promise, he didn't want to break it. And he never would.


	5. Best Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mega pulls through the whole day painfully, trying not to call Skeppy since Skeppy said he was busy. 
> 
> It didn't take long for Mega to realise that a big present was coming his way in less than an hour.

_My worry for you is more than my love_

3 days, 3 days without calling, because Mega wouldn't pick up. 3 days of nearly breaking into pieces and despair because all he would leave were blue ticks. At first they were a good sign, but now they felt like taunts. Taunting Skeppy and haunting him, anxious thoughts capturing his head as he tried to sleep it off to no avail, tried to stream to take his mind off of it, tried to make a video but each and every word or thought he said and thought up of, went back to Mega.

There were many other times Mega needed tending to, he needed to be comforted by none other than Skeppy because he was the most comfortable with the friend that had stuck with him for 5 years. Skeppy would mumble under his breath sometimes wishing he could just stop being Mega's friend because of how rude he was at times.

But—no toxic connotation—Skeppy knew Mega was just messing around, maybe a little too harshly at times, but nevertheless Mega cared as much for Skeppy as Skeppy cares for Mega. It's never caught on camera though and Mega wishes to keep it that way.

Right now Skeppy's bags were packed, but he was contemplating on missing his flight on purpose if he were to visit Mega. He didn't know what was happening to Mega, there were no messages back or any returned calls at all. Skeppy groaned in frustration and pulled at his hair because of this. He spent a good sum of money buying a single direct ticket to Vancouver and now he was doubtful if he should even go at all. Did Mega want him there? Is Mega lying down in his house with no one to check on him? Or maybe someone has found him and they've gotten ahold of Mega's phone, the only reason why Skeppy was being blue-ticked. _Were they too scared to inform him?_

Skeppy's head was clouded, he tried to talk to his friends about it and in a fit to reach Mega, they all spammed the mute boy and asked him to come back or at least give a sign that he wasn't rotting in his abode.

Finally, after a disturbing message Vurb sent—about toes, of course—to Mega, Mega replied to Vurb with a :

**vurb**

toes are so succulent

they are so sexy and delicious

mega i will paypal you 1000 if you send me

ur feet pics

**mega**

wtf

im not dead i just needed some time alone

tell skeppy im sorry for worrying him

also abt the feet pic deal

Vurb brings the good news to Skeppy and you have no idea how relieved Skeppy was to hear that his friend was well and alive. Immediately after receiving updates on Mega's vitals, he calls up the mute boy, hoping that this time, it would be different.

"..Zak?"

"You fucking piece of shit I hate you so much you worried me so much why the fuck would you just disappear like that for three whole fucking days I was so anxious about you I thought you up and died or some shit god Mega.."

"... _Are_ you done?..."

"Yes. I'm done. Stupid ghosting bitch- Okay, now I'm done."

"Good. I think you deserve an explanation."

"No shit. I nearly cried."

"I'm sorry I worried you. But I just needed some time to myself, it was getting… difficult to do other things."

"But I saw you on Invaded? And on SplashMC as well?"

"I pulled through with death on my mind. I don't think I even tried to talk to you."

"Yeah, you ignored me and everyone else."

"I just really needed some time to myself."

"Yeah, I get that. Do what you can to stay in the game, bud."

"Don't call me that."

"Anyways, in the span of your ghosting, did you… hurt yourself in any way?"

"...No."

"You promise?"

Mega looked down at the measly cut on his left wrist, it was clotting but you could tell it was still fresh. It wasn't as big as all the _others_ but it was still harmful nevertheless.

"I promise, dude."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure, stop worrying."

"Anxiety rates drop to zero, we did it boys, anxiety is no more. Especially over a depresso friend."

"Very funny but c'mon dude, I don't want you to worry or get worked up over me. Yeah sure winter is harsh as fuck for me but I always make it out alive."

"That doesn't stop me from helping you feel better," Skeppy sighed and groaned, trying to get his point across which is; _I want to help you and there's nothing you can do to stop me_. "Even though sometimes you make me feel like shit."

"I'm sorry for everything, but… argh… I just… don't know how to feel."

"I get that." Skeppy blinked slowly, there was silence for a few minutes, it was needed however. Mega stared down at his harmed wrist, Skeppy stared at his luggage that was still awaiting the chocolates that should be packed in very soon. "I need to go, I have to… get to somewhere."

"Aight, cool, call you later?"

"I don't know if I can," Skeppy says, unsure. He tried very hard not to come off as rude or negative, but in order to keep his flight to Vancouver a surprise, he had to shut it and say little about it. "I'll be quite busy."

"Okay, that's cool. Are you just trying to get back at me for not answering your calls?"

Skeppy stood frozen. 

_yeah sure we can go with that_

"Yes, definitely. I shat my pants."

"Ew, wipe your ass."

"Will you do it for me?"

"No. Bye." And Mega hung up. Then everything went silent.

In his residence, he doesn't do much other than stay in his house, deplete his supply of instant noodles and sleep. As well as be lonely. But very soon, he wouldn't be alone in his house anymore, a certain someone will finally show up at his door.

Quite possibly the best christmas present he's ever received—and yet, the worst.

Fast forward a bit, Skeppy got through security check and was waiting at the terminal. Rows upon rows of empty seats until there were a few dozens of people occupying them, further back, where the entrance to the plane would be. Skeppy decided to buy a ham and cheese sandwich with croissants as bread—very interesting—and checked his phone as he ate his food. Looking around, he was attracted to buying more snacks and food but resisted. It felt like he was having a battle with himself.

_They look so yummy, let's get it! No-! Zak no! You have enough food! No i don't, yes you do! No i don't!_

Skeppy caved in and bought a few packs of chips and then stuffed it into his other baggage he had with him which was a spacious duffel bag. His flight number was called and everyone was now going to board the plane. He hasn't finished his ham and cheese sandwich yet, he figured he'd just eat it in the plane.

Skeppy had gone on planes multiple times, and despite how unsurprising it is to walk on a plane and watch as the plane takes off from the window seat, it felt surreal. There was a feeling with boarding flights that he didn't know about, the feeling of flying from one place to another, whilst wasting a lot of your time getting there. 

The pilot's voice came through the comms, he introduced himself as the co-pilot, then began to name off their staff. As this was happening, the staff began to demonstrate safety precautions and actions to take if the plane ever decided to commit toaster bath. It was the usual; air pressure, oxygen mask drops from ceiling, bracing a crash, bend over in your seat and pray you don't die and a water landing, where you get to have a free ride down the slide.

After they were done, by then, the plane had already parked in front of the runway it was about to fly off of. 

As the plane's engines began to rev, the sound of it grew louder in Skeppy's ears. He relaxed and laid back on his chair. Business class shouldn't be that much of a problem in terms of socializing. He was mainly alone and had space to himself, meaning he had privacy to take out his laptop and just watch whatever he wanted. Maybe later though, the plane was about to take off.

The aircraft shook as it finally broke touch with the ground, with it gaining more height and speed by the second, Skeppy could feel the familiar clogged sensation in his ear. It was annoying, he had to do weird face exercises to get rid of his blocked ear holes. It worked eventually, but as it cleared up, the sounds of a child screaming due to the fear of takeoff made him want to go back to having blocked ears again.

In Canada, poor Mega was constantly hovering his thumb over the call button on Skeppy's contact. He knew Skeppy was busy for whatever reason, but he just wanted to hear his voice—if that's not weird at all. These few days of constant calling has brought comfort and relaxation to Mega, he liked that Skeppy indulgently kept true to the promise unlike himself. Mega didn't know why Skeppy was busy, was he recording 3 videos at once? Was he really just getting back at Mega for not picking up his calls?

Mega shook his head and resisted calling Skeppy.

He didn't want to seem desperate.

Instead, he knew he respected his dear friend and whatever Skeppy was doing, Mega would let him do his thing—though he was awfully curious.

Hours passed, it was now 7PM, the skies were darkening and wrapping the earth in slumber. The christmas lights were shining proudly, Mega stared out at his window. He's been keeping track of himself, still being able to monitor Invaded and SplashMC through his crappy laptop and tying the strings of his will to live together. He had successfully restrained himself from calling Skeppy, still never knowing why he—

**skeppy**

yo

what's ur address

Mega's head spun to his phone that dinged in the result of a message notification. He moved away from the window and picked up his phone. His eyebrows furrowed at the question. 

_is this bitch gonna stalk me or…_

**mega**

why do you want to know

weirdo

**skeppy**

so i can stay in ur house? duh

its freezing here in Vancouver

**mega**

wait what

**skeppy**

im in Vancouver

pls help

im stranded

**mega**

BRO WTF

**skeppy**

plz 🙏🏻

**mega**

I-

OKAY THEN

Mega was still trying to digest the fact that his friend had literally bought a flight to Canada, Vancouver just so Skeppy could have a better eye on Mega. His friend had been in a plane and that was the reason why he wasn't able to pick up any calls or text. So much for being busy. Mega texts his address to Skeppy. There wasn't much reason to be fishy about sending his address to a good friend of his, unless Skeppy was planning murder but other than that, Mega believed Skeppy was in the state. And plus, he didn't really want Skeppy to freeze into ice out in the cold. Skeppy texts Mega a 'thank you', and goes offline.

Mega sets down his phone and looks around his room. As normal manners and etiquette should be, Mega starts cleaning up his house for Skeppy's arrival. There was no way he was going to let his friend see that he lives in a shithole. Mega peers into his dirty laundry basket, and scrunches up his nose. He takes the basket and rushes to the washing machine, dumping all of his clothes in the washer, pouring out some liquid detergent and putting it into the compartment. He sets the machine on the low water level setting and lets it do its thing. The machine wasted no time in whirring his laundry around and smothering the wet pile in the detergent. Mega grabs a broom and dustpan and sweeps his floor, from downstairs to upstairs. After making sure everything was squeaky clean, his bathroom, his living room and his kitchen, he checks his bedroom again. He had a spare guest room, he could let Skeppy stay there.

Mega's house was quite a petite house, considering he was the only person living there. But it was enough to fulfill him. He had a living room with a big wide screen TV—which he rarely uses—with furniture that looked like it cost hundreds to thousands of dollars because of how exquisite the quality was when the reality was that he got it a promising and cheap price. It works well, is cheap and looks good. Not easy to find. His kitchen was pretty basic, when he moved in first the washing machine was absolute dogshit and wouldn't work so he just bought the first thing that popped up in 'efficient and cheap washing machines'. Mega was a bit salty at the fact that whoever stays in the guest room would have their own ensuite while Mega has to walk to the bathroom that was opposite of his own bedroom. Mega's excuse was that he wanted to sleep in a king sized bed—because he's a king.

Mega was fervently checking his house for anything amiss, see if he's missed a spot or whatever. While checking his living room and staring at all the DVDs he took with him when he moved out of his parents' house, the doorbell rang.

Mega jumped. 

Could it be? The one and only..? Diamond bitch?

Mega tears his eyes off the DVDs and makes his way to the door. He took a deep breath, hand on the knob, turning it as he pulled the door open. As expected, there, the one who stood on his porch, was indeed the diamond bitch. He had a black sweater along with a few layers of jackets because of the cold, a luggage by his side and his duffel bag hanging heavily on his shoulder. He wore a nervous smile as he trembled and his teeth chattered. Mega blinked a few times, still thinking this was a dream and not real life.

Skeppy puckered his lips in and gave one of his iconic smiles, shrugging. He let out a shaky breath, before saying, "Can I come in? I'm freezing cold bro." He smiled broadly again.

_That damned smile._


	6. Blurred Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mega is seen with a box cutter by Skeppy and the diamond man thinks of the worst. He gets their mind off of it by going down and eating the treats he got.
> 
> As Mega asks for a hug, Skeppy starts to have questions pop up. Questions he'd rather ignore.

Though it's not the first time Skeppy had seen Mega's face considering they had a facetime on discord when Mega was making the cursed cookies, Skeppy couldn't believe that the person that stood at the door, holding it, was the same person who stayed "mute" for years, spoke sarcastic remarks in the minecraft chat and was an amazing PVPer along with being a hardworking manager for InvadedLands. It was difficult, to match and piece the jigsaws and facts together that the beautiful young adult with flowing curly-wavy black hair and oak skin—and of course the hazel eyes, can't forget the most captivating part of the mute man's soft boyish face—was _indeed_ the one who had been bullying and stomping on him for all these years they've known each other.

Skeppy couldn't help but smile for his friend, I mean, what else is he supposed to do? Slap him? That is an option but it would make Skeppy stuck outside in the cold.

Mega was just standing there, blinking slowly, his brows slightly furrowing, his mind just slowly digesting and malfunctioning at the sight of his idiotic best friend who flew over from where he was currently staying to Canada, Vancouver. He really was that extra, Skeppyextra. Mega shut his eyes quickly, pinching the bridge of his nose as he let out a confused sound. He opened the door further, stepping aside and allowing Skeppy to enter with his belongings. Mega closed the door after him, watching Skeppy pull off his soft mittens and rubbing his palms together to warm up.

"How do you live in such cold weather like this?"

"Why are you acting like you've never experienced it before." Mega stated, walking to the stairs and motioning for Skeppy to come to him.

Mega took Skeppy's baggage and poor Skeppy was left to pull his luggage up the flight of stairs. Upon reaching the second floor, Skeppy was already exhausted. He collapsed on the carpet face first and groaned in pain and weariness. 

"There, that's your room." Mega pointed to the guest room further in the hallway, Skeppy lifted his head up then got up slowly. His hands on his luggage for support as he stretched up. Skeppy didn't know how to tell Mega that he wanted to be in the same room as him—y'know, to look after him, nothing else—considering Skeppy came here in the first place because he didn't trust Mega on his own in the dangers of his own abode. Skeppy stammered, but Mega immediately asked what's wrong.

"What? Do you wanna sleep on the couch or?" Mega snapped. He was quite a bit cranky, definitely still adjusting to the human being that he calls a _friend_ being in his house. It's been a while since anyone has ever visited him, let alone have anyone step foot into his place.

"Uh… Nothing. I'll take the guest room."

"You get your own bathroom unlike me, be thankful you stinky piece of shit," Mega said this in a joking and loving manner, pushing Skeppy's head playfully enough to leave the diamond man stumbling as he tried to keep his balance. "Here, I'll help you feel at home." Mega tugged on Skeppy's sleeve and motioned for him to go to the guest room. Mega dropped the duffel bag on the guest bed and just in time, Skeppy entered to station his luggage at the foot of the bed.

"Still can't believe you came here though."

"Yeah, came here for 2 things. Number one, to keep you company because isolation and depression do not go well. Number two…" Skeppy dragged his words as he laid his luggage flat on the floor and unzipped it, revealing his clothes and of course, the gifts he had bought that day at the mall.

"What the fuck did you buy?"

"Lots and lots of chocolates. They've got vanilla filling inside, _our_ favourite." Skeppy grinned to Mega and Mega returned a flushed smile. 

_How thoughtful of him. god, he looks so ~~cute~~._

Skeppy took all the chocolates and set them on the bed, along with the ice cream tubs. Skeppy turned to Mega and told him to put all of them in the fridge. Mega could only carry a tub and a few packs of chocolates at a time, so he looked quite adorable with his slow and careful steps down the stairs and into the kitchen as he stuffed all the delicacies into the fridge. Bringing down the remaining sweets and placing them in the fridge, his return to the guest room was met with Skeppy holding two fairly small boxes. 

Mega stood there examining the boxes, and seeing the pictures plastered on them. A new pair of headphones and a brand new mouse. Mega scratched his head before he looked at Skeppy with an unsure look, raising a brow. Skeppy walked closer and placed the boxes in Mega's hands. 

"For you. You need it anyways."

The beautiful designs displayed on the cover of these premium boxes proved that the contents inside would be beautiful. A red neon mouse which was perfect for gaming and red-black headphones with a pretty red glow, comfortable against the ears and much more durable than Mega's previous pair. Mega looked at these in shock—he almost couldn't believe that these were for him and that it was his. The most heartwarming thing Mega realised was that Skeppy spent money on these for him. Mega then raised his head to look up st Skeppy. The mute man had tears forming in the corner of his eyes, his brows painting his face in a sad yet grateful expression.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Mega sniffled.

"Nothing... it's just… thank you. It's actually really nice of you to do this. I haven't… really… no one has done this in a while… at least not for me."

Skeppy's eyes widened a bit then he softened. The best thing about being with someone to hold and touch, is giving them a hug. Skeppy opened his arms and embraced Mega in a warm and safe hug. "That's really sad, you know."

Skeppy spoke softly with a glum and hollow grin. It sucked to be alone—and Skeppy would know a thing or two about being lonely and alone.

Mega closed his eyes and his tears squeezed out, burying his face in Skeppy's shoulder.

"I hate pity." Mega mumbled into Skeppy's jacket.

"Well I pity you. Out of love and care."

"I rather you don't." Mega whispered back to Skeppy, pulling out of the hug and giving his dear friend a soft smile before turning around and going to his room. Skeppy was left in the guest room to unpack the rest of his own stuff.

Mega opened a drawer in his nightstand, pushing the inside contents around looking for his box cutter. As a glint of semi-rusty metal caught his eye, he grabbed it from its tight weight of other miscellaneous that hid it from Mega. Mega set the box which had the headphones down on his bed first, planning to open the box with his new mouse inside first. Drawing the blade, he was about to cut the tape off when his eyes were drawn to the sharpness of the cutter. His fingers wrapping around it, the grip getting tighter, as he bit the flesh inside his mouth and gritted his teeth. He looked down, not too far down, just enough to avert his eyes from the tempting action of hurting himself. He let out a trapped breath, the arm that held the harmful temptation resting its elbow on Mega's thigh, as he rubbed his temple and tried to regain his regular breathing.

The semi-rusty blade was calling out to him in a sick mumbling whisper, to press the sharp edge on his wrist and—

"Mega? What are you doing?" Skeppy was at the door and upon seeing Mega with quite a dangerous item in his hand, he let out a panicked question as he briskly walked to Mega's side where he was sitting, on the bed, quickly snatching the box cutter out of Mega's hand.

"Bro- nothing, I'm not doing anything, I was just gonna open up the gifts you got me."

"It didn't look like that," Skeppy said in an almost irritated tone, he took the box that was resting on Mega's lap as well, figuring he'd just open it for Mega. Skeppy didn't trust Mega around anything that could potentially cause more slits on Mega's wrist, hurting Mega even more. Skeppy cut the tape off himself, lifting the top half of the box and revealing a lovely red-black coded gaming mouse. "Here," Skeppy carefully places it in Mega's hands, before doing the same for the box with Mega's headphones. Taking out the headphones and then handing it to Mega, Mega looked down at his presents and then back up at Skeppy.

Mega gave a slightly disappointed look, then sighed, "I wasn't gonna do anything bad. You're so paranoid."

Skeppy himself knew that his actions were probably a little extreme but that's what he'd do for a friend who is in harm's way. Mega perfectly fits that and it's only obvious as to why Skeppy would have eyes on Mega a little more frequently than usual. Skeppy's brows furrowed sadly as his eyes looked down, then realised a small single cut on Mega's wrist. It wasn't old or had scabbed and healed already, by one look you could already tell it was recent and fresh. Skeppy pointed to it.

"What's that?"

Mega looked down to what Skeppy was pointing at, before he cussed under breath. In the most smallest and softest tone ever, he mutters, "Shit."

"You wanna explain that?" Skeppy's words were slow, as if they were predators lurking and sneaking up on prey. Skeppy wasn't sure if the next answer to come out of Mega's mouth was going to be truthful. Skeppy knew Mega had a habit of hiding and lying about certain things, but lucky for Skeppy, he can finally tell by the tone of Mega's voice (woah) whether the mute man could be capping or not.

"I didn't cut myself… well, not with the box cutter." Mega fessed up, pointing at the box cutter Skeppy had set on his right thigh.

"So did you cut yourself with something else?"

Mega dragged a finger over the small wound, sighing as he let himself fall on the bed on his back, holding his wrist and avoiding facing Skeppy. 

"Yes. With something else, at a previous time."

"God Mega…"

"I know, but I **_promise_** from now on, I'll stay clean." Mega sits up halfway, propping himself on his elbow, his words racing by, trying his best to convince Skeppy to accept the promise, as if Mega hadn't failed that oath two times. And Skeppy knew this. You can't rely on weak legs to carry you far. Skeppy then shook his head and stared at Mega dead in the eye.

"No. I'll help you through this, I know very well it's hard to stay clean— for you, anyways. Don't make that promise, at least don't force yourself now." Skeppy says in a low and monotone voice. He was serious about helping Mega through his winter, yet he was having doubts as well that would drag his heart down to drown.

"You sound like my mother," Mega blinked slowly and gave an expression that could be taken two ways, either he was annoyed or thankful for Skeppy's dedication to make him feel better. "She's always stuck on what she wants to do, if it's for the greater good, she's gonna end up finishing it no matter what."

"Oh really? Well I hope I don't turn out to be exactly a nagging bitch."

The both of them laughed and Mega playfully kicked Skeppy lightly. The subtle insult to Mega's mother lightened up Mega's mood a bit.

"But hey…" Mega sits up properly and scoots closer to Skeppy, finally immersing his hazel eyes into Skeppy's dark brown orbs, parting his lips to let out the words he wanted to say, "Thanks. You're actually helping me feel a bit better this winter. I hope I can be happy this time."

"I'll make sure of it Megapoopy." Skeppy gave one of his signature smiles—the cutest smile you'll ever see on him—and pulled Mega in for a side hug, and leaned on the mute man in a way where their heads were touching and they were cuddling. Platonic, of course. For now.

"You wanna go down and eat the ice cream and chocolates I bought?"

"Sure." 

Both of them pulled away but were reconnected again by Skeppy holding Mega's hand. Skeppy pulled Mega out of his bedroom and into the kitchen where he quickly went down the flight of stairs. Mega was struggling to keep up, his feet felt like if Skeppy went any faster he'd trip and fall. But they reached the kitchen anyways, Mega was catching up on his breath before a tub of ice cream was slammed on the counter in front of him along with one of the packs of chocolate. Skeppy opens the pack and pulls out a piece of the chocolate, it had a promising shape, fairly big and looking like it was bloated with vanilla filling. Next thing Mega knew, Skeppy was pulling the lid off the ice cream tub next, dipping the chocolate in the beloved treat and then telling Mega to open his mouth wide.

"Wow, feeding me? I'm mentally struggling, not physically paralyzed."

"I know, just eat it."

Mega sighed and opened his mouth wide enough for Skeppy to feed him. Skeppy didn't mind getting some of Mega's spit on his fingers, he just stuck the thing right in there and wiped it off his hoodie.

"How is it?"

"Diabetes." Mega spoke with his mouth full.

"Perfect!"

Mega nearly choked at that response, his lips cracking into a smile with his cheeks blown up due to the contents in his mouth. So he looked like a cute chubby bunny.

They began snacking down on the sweets and only when they felt the pain in their stomachs and the lack of interest in the chocolates, did they stop eating and put everything back into the fridge.

"Hey can you give me a hug?" Mega asked.

"Any reason why?"

"Nothing, I just need a hug. You're the first human in a long while to be near me."

"One bear hug coming right up." Skeppy opens his arms wide and eats up Mega in a tight embrace. Mega wraps his arms around Skeppy and rests his head on Skeppy's shoulder. Mega could feel one of Skeppy's hand patting his back softly and comfortingly, before they started to sway while still being in their embrace. Mega played with Skeppy's hair, sniffing the scent off Skeppy's hoodie. Turning his head and planting the slightest kiss on Skeppy's cheek. Just enough to show that he cared. While Mega made sure to keep that move subtle, there was no doubt Skeppy could feel it. Feel Mega turn his head and give a little smooch like it's nothing. Skeppy didn't think too much of it, he was sure that Mega hadn't given any sort of affection to anyone in a long while and this was an open opportunity to show whatever he can. Skeppy accepted that, he even found it cute.

But soon, Skeppy found himself blurring the lines between a therapeutic and caring friend and… _something more_.


	7. Skin to Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A harmless storm follows up after the recent blizzard and Mega takes a trip down to the kitchen to get a glass of water in the middle of the late night.
> 
> Skeppy seemed to be awake at the unusual hour as well, but what took place downstairs was more than the both of them had ever expected.

_useless. That’s what I am._

_There’s an ache in my heart,_

_But I don’t think it will stop._

The thunder roars loudly and the bright flash of the lightning flickers, it went as fast as it came and what comes running up behind is the sound of the rumbling thunder that raises its voice to scream at the Earth (Or just Vancouver) to terrify young children who are awake at this time, or to simply shake them from slumber rudely before giving them the spook of their life.

Mega’s eyes slowly flutter open to see his window, the pane splattered with tear drops from the storm that was unfolding outside. Like said before, Mega doesn’t mind harsh weathers like these. He in fact even embraces the gloomy skies, the skies that cry and blur stuff in the distance. But today, it was different. He vibes with the rain most of the time but the rain that is falling down this ungodly morning felt more like a reflection. A reflection, a message, the grey clouds telling Mega that they knew what he dreamt about.

His nightmares aren’t old creaky houses with dolls that roam them. They aren’t that type of scary. Sure yes, seeing a doll at the end of the hallway running at you at full speed is mortifying but being faced with all the negativity in the world and being completely helpless and knowing your cries for help will most likely be turned a deaf ear on, is certainly a tad bit worse than spooky abodes with dark settings. And that was exactly Mega’s nightmare.

It wasn’t the first time either, he’s being forced to bask in a flashback he would rather not recall. That nightmare which was of dark shadowy figures holding him down, him trapped somewhere, as another big shadowy figure curls its fingers and digs into his chest, pulling out his heart. He could remember, he felt ache, pain, when his heart was crushed by the fingers clenching into a fist, blood splattering everywhere. At that moment, he felt like his heart shattered, an angst feeling pulsing in his ruptured chest. He didn’t like it one bit. Because shortly after, negative thoughts start to run through his head, plaguing it. So many things that are seen as harmless insults, could now be milk to cry over. Crying over what has happened, crying over wounds that have healed and cutting them open again. Crying because you think it’s your fault when it isn’t.

_He got those presents for you because you’re a pathetic shit. You broke your previous ones on purpose. It was just a game man, you just sucked._

Similar thoughts would soon fester in his mind like some sort of disease. This was how it was, was it? But Mega knew, there was much more to come and he was silently preparing for it. A bright flash appears and it’s followed by a loud crash of the thunder. Mega jumps a little bit at the sudden sound and bright gamma of light. He rubs his eyes, hoping to help them adjust to fully opening, as he just woke up. The shock of the thunder surely shook him awake though.

As the rumble rolls by, he pulls the sheets off of him and stands up out of bed. He doesn’t have a shirt on, it’s freezing cold. He doesn’t know what came over him to simply fall asleep without a comfy sweater or hoodie, though all he knew was that he was thirsty and he needed a drink. Lazy to put on a shirt, he walks to his bedroom door and pulls it open, walking down the stairs and into the kitchen. He grabs a dirty glass from the sink and washes it, going to the fridge to take the pitcher of cold water and pouring it into the glass. Quite ironic that the weather was already mounting cold after cold and yet he preferred some icy water.

Mega leaves the glass on the counter while returning the pitcher back to its original spot in the refrigerator. He looks up the stairs and sighs, knowing he’ll have to return to his room sooner or later. He was quite weak, running on literally no energy except for the fragments of sugar rush he had hours before, from eating that diabetic treat Skeppy had concocted. He realized he hasn’t actually eaten that much at all. 

“Fancy seeing you here, MegaPVP.” A voice calls out from the top of the stairs, although Mega couldn’t see him, he knew it was Skeppy. I mean, the reverse-puberty voice gave it away. Soon, the pair of legs he saw at the top of stairs began to make their way down the flight, revealing a shirtless diamond man who wore black sweatpants. “Also fancy seeing that you don’t have a shirt on as well.” Skeppy’s lips curled into a grin as Mega felt heat rushing to his cheeks. It does look completely suspicious that to anyone, seeing two guys shirtless in a dark kitchen would mean something. But hey, they’re 5 feet apart—because they are totally not homosexual.

“I was lazy to put one on, don’t get any wrong ideas.” Mega’s face shifted away from staring at Skeppy’s bare skin and decided that he’d wash the glass he recently used for a sip of water. Originally he didn’t want to, because he’s a lazy fuck, but it was all to make the situation lighter and less awkward.

“Well this is how I sleep.”

“Nice, must be super comfortable and warm in the freezing cold.” Mega drags his words. The sheer exhaustion and low fuel his body had was pretty eminent through his seldom heard voice.

“I know right, it feels sexy.” 

Skeppy rolled his voice in a sarcastic manner as Mega let out a little laugh at the odd remark. Placing the glass onto the rack where all the clean utilities go, he wipes his hands on the cloth hanging from an extension on the wall. Mega’s stomach then decided to demonstrate what can be only described as a whale call, his hand reaching over and softly landing on his tummy as he felt the rumbles and bubbling. He definitely did not eat anything today.

“You okay?”

“I’m just hungry,” Mega hunched over a little, there was a bit of ache coming along with the rumblies, “I need like a little snack or something.” Mega stated as he opened his fridge once again and scanned the interior of a huge appliance. He didn’t want to waste 40 minutes cooking something, either way, he wasn’t a great chef considering he poured soda into a cookie batter mix and slapping a fat label claiming ‘It’s a whole new baking soda’.

Mega then decided he’d just make some simple toast, with shredded red and white cheese as a topping. This definitely can’t go bad, it’s a simple recipe of bread and shredded stretchy cheese. Mega decided he’d make two of them. As Mega places the two slices of bread into the microwave oven, he sits down on a stool, sighing out of exhaustion, he needs these toasts with cheese to cook faster or he’ll literally faint from being too weak and tired. Skeppy takes a seat across Mega, eyeing the ticking microwave oven with the slices of bread and melting cheese inside, then striking a conversation Mega didn’t feel like having.

“Have you eaten?”

Mega wants to ignore the question, and he does, but Skeppy narrows his eyes and asks it again. 

_Stop asking me that._

There was only a few minutes left for the slices to cook, but it felt like hours with what Skeppy was prodding to talk about. Mega didn’t want to admit that he had intentionally avoided food because he was far too uninterested in eating, despite his hunger pangs hitting him hard during the day and begging him to eat. He usually stomached it down with drinking a copious amount of water along with soft drinks to add some variety so his body doesn’t get bored with the regular H2O. From the outside Mega looked fine, but he was truly struggling to keep himself together—almost like trying to keep a model of the solar system intact for your science fair, but the glue is absolute ass. Mega hunched over and continued to turn a deaf ear to Skeppy, this makes Skeppy snap, as he shifts closer to Mega and grabs him by the shoulders. 

_Wow that’s your first actual skin to skin contact in a while._

The voice in his head dropped quite a humorous remark but Mega was quick to take notice of the situation. Skeppy had his fingers gripping onto Mega's skin, his brows were furrowed and his eyes narrow but you could clearly see the worry and pain in his eyes in spite of the darkness the kitchen was shrouded in.

“…have you been eating?”

_**Ding!** _

The microwave oven pops its bell, both men turn their head to the sound and Skeppy’s hands involuntarily slips off Mega’s shoulders as Mega opens the microwave oven and places the two slices with beautifully melted cheese spread over the tops onto a white plate with intricate gold colored designs. He sets it down on the counter and begins eating it quickly, wasting no time in savouring the snack and shoving it down his throat. Skeppy looks at Mega with a blank expression, staring at his friend who was wolfing down a plate of the only thing he has really eaten that day. He remembers how much Mega hates the pity, and yet, Skeppy can’t help but feel the feeling of ruth sink deep in his chest.

_That’s all he’s eaten besides the chocolates and ice cream._

It was definitely difficult trying to help Mega when the disconsolate mute tends to ignore everything Skeppy’s ever told him to do to keep himself glued. Skeppy tells him to not hurt himself, then there’s a faded cut on Mega’s wrist. Skeppy tells him to sleep well—but Skeppy’s not so well with this one either—and Mega’s wide awake, here in the kitchen. Skeppy tells him to eat to get some energy and yet here Mega sat, clearly relieved at the taste of food on his tongue; a clear sign that he’s been starved of it. Skeppy knew how much Mega leaned onto himself, usually doing his own thing and reassuring everyone that he was fine. Most of the time he plays it off and does appear alright and doesn’t fail in his charade, but that’s only with those who are not too close with him.

Obviously, Skeppy has been with Mega for a long period of time and they both know each other well. Mega knows when to expect Skeppy’s stupid trolls and pranks and Skeppy can read Mega’s tone of “voice” through his texts quite well without the help of indicators. The latter is usually the more depressing part, clearly. 

Mega finishes his short meal, wiping his mouth and pushing his plate away. Mega then pushes his stool back as he gets up from sitting, Skeppy follows his movements and begins to hit him with the same question over and over again.

“Mega, have you eaten? Stop ignoring me! Mega!” Skeppy could only watch as he saw Mega grab a new empty clean glass and open the fridge, going back for a second glass of water as he chugs it down nervously. Skeppy briskly walked to Mega and took ahold of his arm.

_Doesn’t another’s skin touching yours feel amazing, Mega?_

“Mega stop this please. You’re scaring me.” Skeppy practically begged. He had a sorrowful look on his face, tears were forming in the corner of his eyes and he was begging, begging for Mega to let out a sound. A word, anything at this point. Mega blinked slowly, examining Skeppy’s frowning countenance, sneakily prying off Skeppy’s hand off his arm. Skeppy gasped slightly at the slip of his grip, seeing Mega had pushed his fingers off, he looked back at the mute man who was already making his way to the stairs. Skeppy stomped after him and made Mega stop in his tracks, not by grasping onto the Canadian’s arm again, but rather by giving him a hug from behind.

For both of them, it was alarming. 

A very unexpected surprise, feeling cold skin, wrapped around him from behind, a face burrowing onto his back. Mega stood frozen, the gears in his head had stopped turning and his cheeks turned warm despite the touch of chill smooth skin glued onto him. Mega’s eyes widened, they widened as large as saucers, his breath was taken away. He really hasn’t felt this in a long time.

Heck, he doesn’t really remember the last time he’s felt this type of abnormal warmth. Cold and freezing atmosphere and yet, in their little hug, it was as warm as a live fireplace. Burning the firewood in the firebox, what seemed to be an ember that would never extinguish.

“Mega. You can’t keep any promises.”

When Mega heard this, his fingers curled on the wrists of the arms wrapping around him. He slowly detached them off of him, turning around a bit to face his friend.

_His skin, his skin, his skin…_

“It’s so hard to trust you with this sort of thing.”

Silence wavers in the air, the slightly inaudible patter of the rain outside being the only thing to break the silence. Yet, it isn’t loud enough. A flash comes along, a warning for the loud thunder that cracks in the sky. It roars enormously, but the two men were not phased by it at all.

“Are you mad at me?”

“What? No, of course not! I’m sorry if it seemed that way.”

“I don’t blame you. Must be tiring to convince a hard head like me to keep myself happy.”

"It's difficult to be happy in your state. I'm not blaming you either and you shouldn't do so to yourself."

Mega sighs, falling into Skeppy's arms again, addicted to the feeling of the diamond man's touch. 

"I'll do anything to make you happy."

"...Anything?"

"Anything, yes, I promise."

Mega looks up with his eyes tired and lidded, the 3AM storm and his thoughts mushed up together along with the touch of another's soft skin on his; Mega was practically malfunctioning. He was hungry, again, but not for food. Mega's left hand crawled its way up Skeppy's arm and touched his cheek. Best friends don't necessarily stay in a hug while shirtless, especially when one of them is staring at the other with hearty and lustful eyes as their hand caresses their cheek.

"Mega? What are you doing?"

"... **Do you mind kissing me**?"

Skeppy took a sharp and short breath upon hearing this, his cheeks were heating up much more than the regular temperature. The both of them were practically the warmest things in the house right now. Mega had only revealed his face and voice a few weeks before, but Skeppy can't deny he was struck by his best friend's remarkable features. He also couldn't deny that he himself had been feeling a little lonely as well even though he shoves the urges down. Met with an irresistible temptation, Skeppy's hands rest softly just above Mega's hip line. So much for being straight. 

Mega's arms wrap around his neck, pulling himself closer to Skeppy's face. The chill temperature of the house was nothing against their body heat that they were sharing between each other.

Skeppy didn't answer with a single word but as his eyes began to flutter shut, he started to close the space between them. Mega's hand clasped a handful of Skeppy's fluffy and rich hair, his breathing getting heavier as he felt Skeppy's breath on his skin. Skeppy was unknowingly pushing Mega closer, a hand roaming Mega's smooth and silky back as Mega dug his nails into Skeppy's skin in return. 

Mega could feel the slight touch of Skeppy's lips on his and his heart literally exploded. He was so starved of this, he was so starved of love, starved of a single kiss. He was brought back to that moment where he kissed a girl because both him and her were under a mistletoe during Christmas years ago, they then admitted to each other that it was their first ever kiss. Mega remembered saying to his friends once that if someone ever had a crush on him, he hoped they would get better soon. It stirred up a laugh but of course, regardless of his sarcastic remarks of being disgusted and repulsed by the idea of love, ironically, he was the one who wanted it. More badly than ever. That girl never became his girlfriend however, most likely because he didn't even know her. She was pretty yes, but Mega didn't take the initiative to get to know her better. He wasn't in the mood for a relationship anyways. Not a lot of girls find anything attractive about a guy who sits in front of his PC all day playing games, unable to give attention because he's busy. Of course, none of this changed the fact that he liked girls still. But this experience was far more different than deciding if a super pretty girl should be yours or not. This was a whole new fucking thing.

Mega was about to touch lips with his best friend, or was he even looking at Skeppy as just a friend anymore?

As thoughts sped through Mega's troubled and panicked mind, everything was far too late once he felt soft and plump lips on his, knowing that Skeppy had already fully closed the gap between them. When Skeppy said he'd do anything, he surely did everything. Mega was actually surprised that Skeppy would actually do it, so it took a while before his own eyelids felt like closing, accepting and enjoying the warm smooch.

They pulled away, looking into each other's eyes, wondering what the _fuck_ had just happened.


	8. Pretending it's Not There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To get his mind off a suggestive night filled with confusion, Mega goes to the mall, not before inviting Skeppy with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took a while it was stinky

_your skin_

_your skin_

_your skin_

_i want it._

**_mine, mine, mine._ **

Hands roaming each other's bare bodies, Skeppy trailed his cold fingers along the back skin of the slightly small physique that hovered over him. Mega was kissing his neck, leaving bite marks all over. Despite being on top, he was just submitting to Skeppy's request of asking the selectively mute man to leave love bites all over. Skeppy let out a moan, his vision was spinning and the room was dark, he didn't know what he was doing. His mind wanted comfort, he wanted to keep the person closest to him and wanted to do things with that same person as well. There's no denying, both of them were starved of touch and love and they, according to society's words, have turned to sin.

Skeppy was about to sink into the temptation and let everything slide and happen, when his eyes shot wide as he softly pushed Mega off.

"Wait, wait, argh…" Skeppy sat up, forcing Mega to sit on his knees as his face was still inches away from his friend. "What are we doing?" When Skeppy asked that, Mega just blinked slowly as he apologized.

"I'm sorry… I'm so tired I don't even know what I'm doing." Mega says as he looks away, eyeing the door and considering leaving as a bit of his senses start flooding back.

"It's fine. We're both tired anyway." When Skeppy realised that Mega was glancing at the door, he grabbed ahold of Mega's wrist and looked at him sternly. Mega turned his head to face his friend, confused by the sudden grip.

"What?"

"You're sleeping in this room tonight."

"What? Why?"

"I'll do anything to make sure you don't hurt yourself."

"I-'' Mega was about to say 'I promise, I won't,' again, but realising the broken vows he had stated before, he couldn't fight Skeppy's worries anymore. There was no excuse and he had to own up for it. "Fine. Just don't do anything weird."

"Really? You're gonna say that?" Skeppy scoffed with a disbelieving smile as Mega looked at him and wore an embarrassed grin. What a fitting thing to say right after you kiss your friend's neck and leave small marks over their skin, especially after the events that took place back in the kitchen. There was no doubt that these two clearly had something suspicious on the table, on that table, was their sexualities.

"I admit, what we did was… yeah, you know. But just… don't do anything weird when I sleep."

"I won't. No horny, I promise."

Mega smiled then got off his knees, crawling to an empty spot on the soft bed and crumbling into the soft sheets. Grabbing onto a pillow and hugging it, he could feel movement from behind him as Skeppy pulled the blankets over them. What a kind gentleman. Mega never really visits the guest room often, he usually only goes in here to… experiment with some things in which he cleans up after, but other than that, this room was particularly of no use to him up until now since Skeppy is now making this room his staycation.

Mega's eyelids felt heavy, they began to fully shut, his breathing soon getting slow.

The bright morning finally creeps in, and Mega was going out to get a few things. He didn't think much about last night, in fact he was on a road to forget it. But as he passed by the living room which had Skeppy on the couch poking his phone, Mega couldn't help but ask Skeppy if he wanted to tag along. "Wanna go out with me dude?" Mega asks, swinging the keys around his finger as Skeppy's attention immediately turned to the pretty boy.

"Ooh! Where?" Skeppy asks, slightly excited, as he hops up on the couch he was sitting on. He surely does act like a child sometimes.

"I'm going to the nearby mall to pick up some things, wanna come with? People tend to celebrate Christmas to the max here. They set up playgrounds and shit." Mega goes on to describe his experience when his eyes shift back to the couch that Skeppy once was on. The diamond man had scurried off to his room, most probably to change for the icy weather that awaits just outside that door Mega is about to open, taking several minutes to prepare and grab his necessities. Skeppy was in the guest room he was residing in, he quickly put on a thick hoodie he had brought along and layered it with a puffy coat and grabbed some designer shoes he had kept under the bed. Dusting himself off and checking himself in the mirror, examining his features and doing a little inspection on his back to make sure nothing was amiss-like for example, a sticky note that says 'Kick me'-and once he had confirmed it, he nodded to himself and grabbed his phone and wallet and a small black bag where he stuffed what he wanted to bring.

Mega stood at the door, leaning on it and sighing. He checked his phone, it had been 15 minutes. Maybe he should've just gone without the annoying peanut butter. He felt like he was waiting for a girl doing her makeup, when their destination was to be at a party by now. 

he's like an annoying girlfriend. or... y'know, a _boyfriend_.

The thought passed Mega's mind and his head shot up as he froze, phone in hand, he blinked a couple of times. No way.

"I'm ready Mega poopy!" Skeppy yelled from the top of the stairs, making his way down as he wore an extra cheeky smile. It was contagious, and Mega couldn't help but feel something tug at his lips. He opens the door for Skeppy to exit, he goes after him, not long before closing and locking the door to the house. 

While they both wore thick layers of clothes, it was apparent that Mega had the more appropriate clothing. Skeppy was left rubbing his arms and shivering from the cold, preferring to stick close to Mega at all times as they walked to their destination. Moments he stole glances at his friend, staring him down, and wishing to share some body heat if you know what I mean. Mega wanted to forget that night, but Skeppy wanted to know, in another reality, if he didn't push Mega off.

They made it at the bus stop and when Skeppy realised that they had to wait, he whined.

"Megaa! I can't wait here. It's so cold."

"Stop whining. I can't change the weather."

"But we can change where we wait."

"Unless you wanna walk miles and miles to get to the mall, sure, be my guest. I prefer public transport though."

Skeppy furrowed his brows and moaned in annoyance as he circled around Mega to keep moving. Mega gave a disgusted look, wondering what his idiot friend was doing.

"What are you doing? Stop, you look like a child."

"It's cold! I'm walking around so my body gets warm."

"Stop moving, moron," Mega growled as he gripped onto Skeppy's tightly and pulled him in for a hug. It wasn't a genuine doting hug, more like a warm hug, since Skeppy complained about being cold waiting at the bus stop they were at. "There, do you feel better?" Mega did **not** dare to look at Skeppy in the eyes. He had his eyes peeled for the bus instead, but all Skeppy could do was stay in the awkward position of being slightly hunched considering Mega was shorter by 2 inches. Skeppy just rested his head on Mega's shoulder, like a baby held by their mother, as he smiled to himself.

As Skeppy sank into the embrace, his eyes trailed up to a local. The man was looking at them, screw eyes, almost examining them and judging them down. Skeppy didn't show it but he immediately felt a dip in his heart, feeling like this looked wrong. But there wasn't anything wrong. Skeppy didn't feel that way towards Mega, he's sure. Friends hug each other all the time and friends show affection in so many different ways; one of them is a hug, Skeppy is so sure that nothing was weird or questionable.

But with the way Skeppy held onto Mega, it was subjective to view really. Whether people would think they were just friends huddling like penguins in the freezing cold or if they had something more to offer. Looking away from the judging man, Skeppy smiles nervously as he plays it off as a normal hug, patting his hand on his friend's back like a bromance hug before pulling away, "I'm not cold anymore, thanks Mega."

"Thank god." Mega's oddly tense face finally abated. It looked like Mega was holding in something, his breath, and once Skeppy pulled away a lift was somewhat lifted. What type of weight? Skeppy couldn't ask about it anyway as Mega turns away and faces the road and the buses arriving at the stop.

Skeppy looked in front of him, also pretending to look out for the bus, but his eyes soon landed on the man again who was looking away with a tainted face. Did the man think of _that_? _Them_? Thinking of them more than just what floated on the surface? Skeppy only hung his head lowly, unable to keep still as he bounced in his position. He was getting impatient, there was something worse than the cold and his layers of coating were not enough to warm him from the piercing ice eyes that stared him down a while ago. A thought creeped into his mind and his heart started gaining weight, a heavy feeling, wondering if he should just—

"Hey, dude, it's here." Mega pointed to the arriving vehicle as he started moving closer to where the bus would park, he flagged the transport, and soon enough it slowed down for him. Skeppy let out a sigh of relief, before realising the man that stared daggers into his comfortability and made the diamond man question himself was also going to board the bus. In a quick act of panic, which only caused more suspicion as Skeppy whispered into Mega's ear.

"Can we take the next bus?"

"What? Why?"

"I just don't feel like I want to take this one."

Unfortunately, Mega took this as Skeppy being immature and childish, as he rolls his eyes and snaps his hand over Skeppy's wrists and drags him onto the bus. Skeppy felt the weight on his fist-sized muscle organ sink deeper into doubt and anxiety. He could see from the corner of his eye, the local man boarding the bus and right behind him. Skeppy was aware that his friend's hand was still on his wrist, a tight grasp, and he had hoped no one else on this constricted space of a vehicle would question it at all.

_Boys have had their hands on their friends' wrists before, dragging them somewhere. Bringing them somewhere. It's nothing._

Mega finds two empty seats and soon lightens his grip, lightly directing his dear friend to sit down. As they do, Skeppy watches as the man stands in the bus, thankfully not looking at him anymore but this didn't change Skeppy's uneasiness.

"Mega, I really don't feel comfortable."

"Why? What's up with you bro?"

"It's…" Skeppy takes a good look at Mega, then at the man who had his back facing the pair of friends as he dropped his head down and crossed his arms, dismissing Mega's worry. After all, the aim was to make _Mega_ feel better, not Skeppy himself. "It's nothing. I'm just not used to the cold."

Mega's eyes were then half lidded, he was blinking slowly as somehow an emotionless 'smile' curled his lips. 

"You're such a big baby about it." Mega croaked softly, his hand gliding over to Skeppy's, not before he hesitated and Mega retreated it to leave it on his thigh. Skeppy took notice of this, he obviously was drawn to it, slightly disappointed that Mega didn't hold his hand. Such touch was enough warmth for the cold winter that blanketed the whole of Vancouver. Although the diamond man wanted so badly to hold his friend's hand, he wanted to do so in a way where he wouldn't look weird since they were in public. Unbeknownst to Mega, Skeppy's little pinky finger reached out to Mega's own small digit, poking it teasingly before wrapping it around the selectively mute man's baby finger.

Mega's eyes widened slightly, he could definitely feel Skeppy's pink wrap around his own. And despite the chill of the weather and the inside of the bus, the heat that rose to his cheeks and spread all over his body was enough to make him sweat under his thick clothing. 

_why am I..? Why am i worked up over this? stop blushing._

_stop stop stop stop stop_

Mega's eyes blinked and he was brought back to reality. His head darts around before looking out the window.

"Shit we missed our stop."

"You stupid idiot," Skeppy scoffs as he unwraps his baby finger from Mega's pinky. Mega pushes Skeppy out of the bus. Luckily, they didn't miss too many stops to render them far and lost. 

Mega instructed Skeppy to follow him, where they took a long route to the mall. All the while Skeppy was freezing and shivering, he had an urge to wrap his arms around Mega and walk slowly with him as he relishes and snuggles against the softness and fluffiness from beanie the mute man was wearing. Mega's hair being the stuffing and the snow cap accessory being the pillow casing. No words can describe how much Skeppy detested the cold, but he really wanted to spend more time with Mega. Maybe even spend his whole life with his minecraft server manager.

In the mall, Mega was buying new clothes and spending the rest of his allowance on food that Skeppy had never tried in which Mega has lived on for the whole of his childhood. Skeppy was a child following a parent around a public place, dragged everywhere with no interest except for the christmas decorations in the mall along with the big attractive fountain in the middle. Skeppy's eyes were glued onto a hair salon, and as Mega was picking out some fancy coats he was planning to give to Skeppy as a souvenir and gift from Vancouver, Mega felt a tap on his shoulder.

"I sound like a child but can I go there? I wanna do something crazy with my hair." Skeppy yipped and clasped his hands together, looking at Mega with brown eyes that sparkled and twinkled. Mega could only roll his eyes as he gave Skeppy a weak smile paired with a permitting nod. Skeppy hugged Mega as a 'thanks', even though Mega doesn't really have some sort of parental vibe over Skeppy—unless they want to be marked as incestuous if they included last night.

Mega's arms were printed with red marks, since he was carrying quite a handful of plastic bags with large weight and was draping the bags' tearable handles over his arms. He was getting tired from carrying the heavy loads when he remembered about his friend running off to a hair salon of some sort to do something crazy to his hair. Mega hoped Skeppy fucked up and shaved it all off or something so that he could mock Skeppy about it.

By coincidence or fate of some sort, the door to the hair salon opened and its little bell rang which caught Mega's attention. His eyes widened as he watched Skeppy exit the unit with baby blue hair. When Skeppy said he'd do something crazy with his hair, he really meant it. Mega just stood there, plastic bags pulling down as they marked more red into his skin through his jackets, blinking slowly. 

_This idiot did not just become a smurf._

Skeppy hopped over to Mega, a wide and cheeky smile spread across his squishable face as he giggled. "Do you like it?"

Mega squinted slightly, wondering what to say. He adored Skeppy at this point, stuck onto him like pen and paper but at the same time he still viewed Skeppy as that friend he would despise. There was no way Mega was going to become sappy over a change of hue in Skeppy's hair, despite how pretty and beautiful his best friend looked. Forgot to mention that Skeppy had dyed his eyebrows as well, making him look even more like a blue goblin. 

Mega wanted to compliment his friend, he really wanted to. His thoughts started piecing together, reading out, 'You look really pretty.' Not like Skeppy wasn't beautiful before—he might've already stolen Mega's heart prior before they even met face to face. What sputtered out of Mega's mouth was something entirely different than the nice remark Mega had initially decided to say.

"You look like a fucking troll." Mega said, scoffing nonchalantly. He wasn't wrong, Skeppy was a troll. Both in terms of looks and actions.

"Come on, let's go home." Mega jerks his head to the exit of the mall, as Skeppy trails along like an obedient dog, offering to carry some bags Mega was handling.


	9. Loving Touches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit gets sexy, that's all I have to say.

_There’s a reason why they call them temptations._

_They’re so fucking hard to resist._

Sitting in front of his computer, Mega examined his brand new mouse. He could barely take in the astonishing thought that a friend of his had spent money on him indulgently, generously buying him high quality set up equipment and posing it as a gift for the mute man’s Christmas. Christmas was barely here though, it wasn’t 25 December just yet, but it wasn’t a crime to be someone’s secret Santa a little earlier. Of course, Mega didn’t disregard his brand new headphones. Absolutely beautiful, they were soft on his ears and the quality was outstanding. Tapping his fingers on the tough plastic material the pair of headphones were made out of, he could hear the soft taps reverberating through his head. It sounded like a thick pin dropping in the sea of silence. Has he realised this was a noise-cancelling product?

While his index still kept a rhythm to the tapping, the door opened slightly. Nothing was playing in the big earpieces, so he could obviously hear the faint sound of the door being pushed open. Mega turned around, his wheeled gaming chair spinning with him as his face morphed smoothly from a tense to a soft countenance.

‘How are the gifts, Mega?’

‘They’re fine. Thank you. Working in perfect condition,' Mega raised a thumbs up, smiling adorably at Skeppy. Skeppy was soothed to hear that, knowing he hadn’t spent his money on nothing as well as his best friend being actually alive and not dead. Speaking of which, the status of Mega’s well-being resurfaced in Skeppy’s head again as he asked softly.

‘You as well? Are you working in perfect condition too?’ Skeppy turned away and looked outside, the dark sky looming over the suburb Mega was residing in. It looked like the clouds would pour any minute. While Vancouver was free from the blizzard, there was no denying that it rained every single day from then on. Hearing the question rest on Mega’s shoulders, he would have usually felt guilty or a bit of weight pushing down on his frail body, but he can safely say he’s remained happy in the duration Skeppy had come over. Skeppy turned back to Mega, just to see Mega smile and nod his head. _Had the man gone back to being mute?_ It made Skeppy chuckle as he sat on the edge of the bed. The thought had manifested into a blurt, the words slipping out of his mouth as Skeppy glared down at the floor with emotionless eyes. He wasn’t thinking.

Mega heard the blue troll’s question, with Skeppy’s head hung low, Mega was met with a face full of blue bush which was Skeppy’s spiky yet fluffy mop. His middle finger positioned on the base of his thumb as it slipped, slapping his palm, as it made an audible snap throughout the room. Skeppy’s head sprung up, like as if it was held on a string and someone had his neck tied, a puppet of some sorts. Mega only smiled, his eyes glimmering with moonlight.

‘Give me words, mute man.’ Skeppy grinned, a tired expression painted over his face. The clock struck 12:00AM, babies slept soundly at this hour, teens would stay up till 3, but jocks would pull until 6. Mega, was probably a mix of teen and jock. Mega didn’t even realise he wasn’t replying with words. In fact, light being brought to the situation made Mega want to play along with it even more. That’s what he was known for, right? Being a mute, shutting up his mouth, keeping quiet, it was all he’s ever done and despite being built up by a pixelated avatar with a mask over where his mouth should be—emphasizing his silence, his choice to stay and be silent—and his sarcastic and amiable remarks, beloved by a small select few from Skeppy’s own YouTube community. Never shown a peek of his face, only ever shared through text on screen, revealing parts of his beauty that will leave so many to wonder; his black hair, hazel eyes and his probably colored skin. He was always quiet and wore an anonymous incognito. But he wasn’t like that with Skeppy.

With Skeppy, he went against everything he was seen to be on the internet. When he was quiet, he would talk with Skeppy. And when no one had ever laid eyes on him from the YouTube community properly, or ever, Skeppy seemed to be the lucky one. The only one who was able to bask in this privilege. A privilege of earned trust of about 5 years, friendship, love and laughter. And fighting. Skeppy sank deep into the thought. He forgot what question he asked, something about mute man–he really dismissed it. His eyes met Mega’s. Mega was a siren. Ironic, Skeppy doesn’t even know if the manager could sing, but just by the mute’s appearance alone he felt mushy and weak. Drawn by his friend’s beauty. Undeniable beauty.

Mega watched as Skeppy stared him down, he realized, then he burst out laughing as he landed a small and friendly slap on his best friend’s shoulder. The sudden explosion of elation made Skeppy jolt a bit in his seat on the bed, but he still wasn’t broken from the cast of the mute man’s enticing spell. Mega was laughing so hard, he covered his mouth with two hands, his guffaws muffled by his veiny paws–from clicking high CPS all the time, of course. Skeppy finally took notice of Mega’s little comedy fest and couldn’t help as the joy spread around in the room and soon, on him. Skeppy smiled, asking what was the deal.

‘What? What, what’s so funny?’

‘Nothing it’s just,' Mega laughed a little louder, as Skeppy heard his friend’s chuckles, sinking even deeper into them as he felt like they were music to his ears. He seemed to be appreciating everything Mega was doing, even the littlest things. Even him being happy. No, no, maybe it was just Skeppy being happy over Mega being happy. Happy that he made his friend’s winter better. Mega hadn’t finished his sentence, he was far too busy laughing his ass off.

‘What were you going to say, by the way?’ Skeppy returned the attention to Mega’s unfinished string of words, as Mega wiped the smile off his face and looked at Skeppy with slightly parted lips and jaws that ached from laughing so much, his hazel eyes literally fucking shining as Mega sat up properly and pursed his lips, staring away from Skeppy’s own chocolate brown eyes. 

_Fuck why are you so pretty? Please let me hold you._

Mega wore a half smile, but his rose lips started to curl back up to a laugh again and he couldn’t help but grin behind the hands that returned to his face. He finally spoke, ‘It’s just, you’re looking at me. In a way which… is kinda… homo bro.’ Mega bit his lip and wiggled his eyebrows as Skeppy wore his own smile, hiding the blush and calming the heat that rose to his cheeks. 

‘Is there anything wrong?’ Skeppy asked, biting his lip unironically now, genuinely asking if Mega was perturbed by any of this; if he was irked by Skeppy’s eyes, that fucked with Mega’s. Eyes that trailed down to parts of Mega’s body that made Skeppy shiver, his pants tightening. Skeppy always dismissed these, never thinking much of them and hoping they would just go away. He told himself it was just his desperation of another human being at his touch, since now he had someone to actually hold and love, he thought his heart would just go after whoever was close enough. The mind and heart are two completely different things unfortunately and it caused Skeppy to fight with himself every single time.

Mega knew Skeppy was asking about his comfortability with how his best friend had been staring down at him for a while now. Mega didn't mind it. Hell, he liked it. He was just the same as Skeppy, in a brawl with his mind and heart. Except Mega let his heart win. There was no denying.

_i love you._

‘No, nothing. I'm fine if that’s what you’re asking.’

‘You are? You sure I didn't weird you out or anything? That’s the last thing I'd ever want to make you feel–’ Skeppy stopped his anxious rambling as he felt cold fingertips trace his face, his cheeks feeling the contrast of cold on hot.

Mega had scooted his gaming chair closer, his new headphones put away, cupping one of Skeppy's warm cheeks. Mega looked at his best friend with an endearing yet tired look. Skeppy stopped moving at once, his heartbeat froze for a second, but he still didn't let it win. Secretly, he probably didn't want it to win. It would be weird. But God, how could he fight this? Mega was so unbelievably beautiful, his friend was much cooler and nicer than how he was portrayed on telegram, on anywhere Mega had actually made an appearance. Maybe Mega wasn't the nicest when it came to ban appeals and blacklist appeals on Invadedlands, but he was overall a sweetheart at best when he wasn't mad or pissed. Though Mega did keep his sarcastic and spiteful behavior to balance out his niceness, he wouldn't want to be seen as a pushover.

‘You don't weird me out. But are we just going to ignore what happened last night?’ Mega says softly, his voice smooth like butter and sweet like honey. Something Skeppy's never heard in forever. Actually–never heard at all. Skeppy ingested the question in his head before wearing a look of shame.

He felt dirty and impure from that night. He felt like he did something wrong. He shouldn't have done that with a guy. 

_it should've been a girl it should've been a girl it should've been a girl_

‘You okay?’ Mega asked out of the blue—hah, pun intended.

‘I just… don't you feel like what we did was wrong? Well- there's nothing wrong with being– y'know,’ Skeppy said, holding onto the hand that cupped his cheek. The blue man referred to his unfinished word, the meaning, obviously clear. The difference, between a man being with a woman, the difference, between being able to be normal and feeling like you steer a different way. ‘I'm sorry, it's just me freaking out. I've never done things with… a guy.’ Skeppy finally admitted, letting go of the hand that cooled his warm cheek. Mega didn't have a change of face, he didn't judge or look offended. Because Mega knew Skeppy thought he was straighter than a ruler. And last night's experience absolutely bent Skeppy's judgement of what he thought he was, probably snapping the “straight” ruler in half.

One part of the diamond man wanted it, to not care how Mega touched him when they were alone, how he wished Mega would hold his hand. How much Skeppy wants to admit more, confess how much of a wreck he would be without Mega.

‘I know. It's difficult isn't it? Honestly same, thought I only had things for girls. But once in a while, a homie hits different, doesn't he?’ Mega let go of Skeppy's cheek, smiling softly to himself as he closed his eyes and rested his chin on his hand, supported by his elbow rooted into his thigh, his posture slumped over. There was no denying that the two of the idiots in the room were hopelessly falling deeper and deeper into what humans call love.

Skeppy couldn't take it anymore. His heart was beating out of his chest.

_i love you i love you i love you_

_you're so pretty_

_you're nice to hug_

_your hair is so fluffy._

_you'll probably feel nice around me._

Heat returned back to Skeppy's cheeks again, his heart started pumping more blood all over his body, sending even more blood down there. Instinctively, Skeppy crossed his legs as he wore a face that was full of uncomfort. He knew what was happening, all he could do was whisper vulgarities to himself as he tried to take his mind off the growing bulge that formed in his pants. The diamond man closed his eyes and silently agreed with Mega's statement, as he focused on it, realizing the reality of it. Or maybe his friend just swung both ways, possibly?

‘And no,’ Mega got Skeppy's attention by placing a hand on the blue troll's shoulder, ‘personally I don't see anything wrong with liking someone of the same sex. I would have just said that I love that guy so much I wanna show it in the most easiest way possible.’ As soon as Skeppy heard that, he felt like he was going to get a nosebleed. Everything Mega was saying was bringing him down to his knees, metaphorically and he wanted to do so literally. And the fact that Mega was referring to Skeppy as ‘the guy he liked’, made Skeppy even more elated inside as well as confused. Many thoughts flurried through his head, he kept telling himself he was straight, straighter than a ruler— _bent_ —and was in any way attracted to guys.

_but he's so pretty, he's amazing. a lovely friend, i'd do anything._

_you'd do anything to be in his arms._

How much more could Skeppy lie to himself?

‘I've just. . . really never felt like this. Ever.’

‘There's a first for everything, you know. It doesn't have to happen every time. And plus-’ Mega stopped himself, waiting until his gaze met Skeppy's. Noticing Mega had cut off his words, Skeppy looked up in curiosity, a brow raised. Mega pointed down to Skeppy's pants and grinned a bit, the hand that was on Skeppy's shoulder slipping off. Skeppy froze. _Fuck, he saw,_ Skeppy thought to himself. Beads of nervous sweat started to roll down his forehead, and his words came out like stammers. 

‘I'm sorry! Sorry! This must be really fuckin' weird I'm sorry- ah!’ Skeppy alologised involuntarily but profusely, trying to apologise for being a pervert. He stopped talking only when Mega pressed a finger against his lips that were trembling from embarrassment and worry, a foreign hand resting on his thigh.

‘You don't have to apologise for something you can't control.’ Mega said soothingly, bringing both his hands up to cup Skeppy's cheeks dotingly, Skeppy staring right into those beautiful eyes that struck him with love.

‘I'm s-sorry, I just don't wanna be weird.’ Skeppy had tears forming in the corner of his eyes. The amount of shame and shunning he brought upon himself was equivalent to anyone who would argue why being gay was wrong. Mega smirked and gave his dearest friend a kiss on the forehead.

The words that came out of Mega's mouth had Skeppy rethinking, and realised that the so-called mute man was true with what he stated.

‘If that's the case, then going by your logic, I'm weird too. Who'd want to be normal anyway?’ Mega chuckled and left another soft peck on the blue troll's forehead. ‘You're cute, you know that?’ 

‘You know Mega, we just met like. . . weeks ago.’

‘What? So you're just gonna ignore the fact that we've been internet best friends for 5 years? God your short term memory loss is sometimes appalling.’

‘I don't mean that! I know we've been friends for a really long time but. . . gah, I don't know. It still feels so quick.’

Skeppy looked away, staring at the floor, still ashamed of himself despite Mega's reassurance. All of a sudden, Mega got out of his gaming chair, standing in front of Skeppy in an almost intimidating manner. Skeppy heard the soft shift in movements, looking once again at Mega. The tightness in his pants didn't get any better, his mouth was salivating at the sight of his best friend. Or was he even his best friend anymore? This was far more than anything they've ever done. Separated by a screen, letting themselves loose once they've got hands on each other. It definitely isn't the first time either of them had human touch or were starved of it, but they just wanted each other. Something different lied under the surface.

Mega made Skeppy scoot back a bit on the bit, making Skeppy's boner extremely obvious but it didn't faze Mega one bit. Instead, he got on the bed as well, sitting on Skeppy. Mega's legs were trapping both sides of Skeppy's thighs, rendering Skeppy captured in a seductive spell. He knew what Mega wanted to do. And the thoughts that begged him to not do it, were drowned out by the increased heartbeat in his chest, the hotness that shrouded his entire body. The urge to just pull Mega in and kiss his neck all over, bite and make his omega marks, was restrained by Skeppy doing the bare minimum of just biting on his lip.

Mega leaned into Skeppy's ear, breathing in it sensually, as he whispered something so soft that sent tingles and shivers down Skeppy's spine. Skeppy let out a small airy groan, as he felt Mega's hand being placed on his chest. The same chest that was so ready to explode with heat, the thumping beat was so loud he could practically hear it against his ear. Skeppy couldn't help but crack a smile, a mischievous one, knowing this was the first few unfolding moments of him getting laid. It wasn't what he had in mind, but he didn't care, Mega looked hotter than any girl Skeppy had envisioned. Mega whispered a request in Skeppy's ear, a request that Skeppy couldn't refuse and he wouldn't try to refuse anyway, it would feel amazing. 

‘I'm not hard yet, can you help me?’ Mega whispered, grabbing hold of Skeppy's right hand and guiding it into his pants. _So this is how it is gonna be? Fuck, yes,_ Skeppy thought to himself, wasting no time in dipping his hand into Mega's baggy sweatpants, fondling the feel of Mega's package in his hand. The only barrier was the boxer briefs that Mega wore, and Skeppy wanted them off along with the pants. No, he wanted everything off. He wanted to kiss Mega all over, admire his body, the full thing. He wanted to touch it all over as well, it didn't matter if Mega had imperfections here and there, if anything, with how madly in love Skeppy was, those aloof marks would just make Skeppy fall deeper for Mega. There weren't enough words to describe how much Skeppy loved Mega. Finally, this very moment, with what words cannot speak, their actions shall do so for them.

Mega let out an airy moan, burying his face into the crook of Skeppy's neck as he held onto his diamond man, basking in the hypnotizing feeling and pleasure of someone palming him through his underwear. Slowly but surely he felt himself stiffen, and with every twitch, a pitiful moan came from his mouth as he clung tighter onto Skeppy.

It was Skeppy's turn to whisper into Mega's ear and send shivers the same way Mega did. They were soft little trophies of love and affection Skeppy mumbled to Mega, continuously uttering, ‘ _You're so pretty. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. Beautiful, mine._ ’ Grins and little giggles crept onto Mega's face, despite it being buried in the crook of Skeppy's smooth and tan neck. Mega was leaving small kisses, the soft sound of his lips smacking as he did his own dirty work enjoying every second of this. 

Soon enough, there were no flaccids in the room, and Mega was left with short breaths. He got up, sitting on Skeppy again, before he started to grind on his dear best friend that was under him. The diamond man had his hands on Mega's waist, slightly pushing down to help Mega gain more friction. The room might've been cold, but Skeppy felt like everything around him was hot—especially Mega. Skeppy felt himself getting weak at the sight of Mega rubbing his bulge against his, just making their “problems” worse.

Mega stopped, as he made sure Skeppy was looking at him, and played with the hem of his sweatshirt. He pulled it off of him, his own hands sneaking under Skeppy's black sweater, prompting that Skeppy take it off. Skeppy gets the hint, and now they were in the same spot they were in last night, except much more intimate and touchy. And definitely more heated. Skeppy couldn't wait, his fingers tugging at Mega's sweatpants, which ultimately led to Mega having a smirk tug at his lips. 

‘You're so impatient.’

‘Please. . .’

‘Alright, I will.’ Mega leaned in once more to plant a kiss on Skeppy's head, before pulling his sweatpants down slightly, revealing the thin barrier Skeppy was palming him through. Skeppy could obviously see the start of what is to be a tent forming in the other boy's pants, and he couldn't help but let out a shaky and sensual breath, every touch he received was sending him to blush mode.

Mega leaned down again, inches away from Skeppy's lips, pecking and kissing them softly, before whispering, ‘You want this?’ He asks ever so arousingly.

Skeppy smirks and replies simply, ‘Yeah.’

**Author's Note:**

> lmao no promises i'll update regularly but i'll try


End file.
